Once, there was a nice boy
Who was sweet
And kind
And smelled like peppermint
And always followed the rules
Because that’s what he was supposed to do

And when the boy’s parents got divorced
He cried
And held his little sister
And let her crawl into his bed when she got scared
And made her mac & cheese
Because that’s what he was supposed to do

And when the nice boy saw Mr. Jenkins fall down
He called 911
And held his hand
And rode with him in the ambulance
And ate KitKats out of the hospital vending machine
Because that’s what he was supposed to do

And when the nice boy went to school
He made all A’s
And ignored the people who made fun of his glasses
And sat all by himself at lunch
And made sure his clothes never had stains
Because that’s what he was supposed to do

And when the nice boy made new friends
He laughed
And smoked underneath the bleachers
And hung out with a lot of girls
And kissed their makeup caked faces
Because that’s what he was supposed to do

And the nice boy lived a nice boy life
But that nice boy life never comes without strife
And he and his sister hardly ever talk
And the clock on the wall never seems to stop
And the makeup girl and a baby who screams
And wakes him up from all his bad dreams
And now he smells like alcohol instead of peppermint
And people keep telling him his career isn't legitimate
And he has a terrible credit score
The nice boy can’t take it anymore