i feel the cold wet kiss
from the air conditioning
pucker my skin with goose pimples
and want nothing more
than for you to blow
your warmth on the nape of my neck
sandwich yourself between my sweaty thighs
so i could pretzel my legs around you
and run my long tapering
should have played pianos fingers
through your damp light brown hair
if only for a minute
i wish i could stop
scrolling through old pictures
of that smile
and stash the sunshine of it
away in a bottle forever
mine to have and to hold
with me, always
when you're not here
to stroke my ego
to feed my imagination
of being with you
on this sultry summer night
i am alone
with blue ambitions
and a growing belly
with a child
you want no part of .

an innocent soul

who will have no choice

but to live on through me.