July 21, 2016
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Ever since I was a kid,
I’d been told to put a lid on my feelings of despair.
Why would anyone ever care when no one heard
And the depression was so “absurd?”
Burned me apart piece by piece,
until my heart no longer ceased
to be destroyed.
Ploying for them to listen,
but I couldn’t put this in words.
Thoughts unheard,
choked by the forces of evil,
contortions by my own blinding vision
and a decision to no longer belong.
But I never did, did I?
Never stayed for long,
never met the eye of
the criticised
because I’m no better than them.
When we were all casted away
we were under the blasted idea that we couldn’t stay
without being played.
Prayed for better futures
Though we all know the losers
never win.
Only sin, only thin fragments
of who we once were.
But I couldn’t remain stagnant,
not when my entire life had been a blur
When all I’d ever known was hated,
and I’d only ever been fated for failure.
My savior was an inexistent stranger;
anger was my only drive
when I was actually trying to survive.
But as it turns out,
it was in the instant I was dying
I felt the most alive.

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