D.O.W.N. (Drowning On My Way To Nowhere) | Teen Ink

D.O.W.N. (Drowning On My Way To Nowhere)

July 18, 2016
By missfloetry SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
missfloetry SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
7 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me."
-Al Capone, American Gangster


I feel down.
Too deep in the water.
I just wanna holler.
I’m somebody’s daughter.
If I had the chance I would
Call my mother and tell her I love her.
Then call my sisters and my brothers.
And my daddy if he ever answers.
I wish he could see me,
Know that I reached the high standards.
I feel like I’m gonna drown,
In the deep sea.
And nobody’s gonna hear me.
It starts off slow,
Then gets fast.
I can’t breath underneath,
I’m trapped.
Could you imagine with your clear eyes,
Having a painful death like mine?
When you can barely breathe,
Absorbing all the pain.
Tryna get all the bad things off your brain.
Going insane,
Crying all night.
Feeling real dumb,
Got an overactive mind.
Sometimes I feel down,
Like I’m gonna drown.
Stuck underneath,
There’s no way out.


The author's comments:

When I wrote this poem, I was really emotional. Let's just say kids can be so cruel! I decided to share this poem because I want other teens who experience bullying to see that they're not alone.


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This article has 7 comments.


on Sep. 22 2016 at 8:43 pm
missfloetry SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
7 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me."
-Al Capone, American Gangster

Thank you!

on Aug. 29 2016 at 5:35 pm
Consalvator BRONZE, South Jordan, Utah
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Now THIS. THIS you could feel the emotion behind. There was a purpose to the poem, and I really connected with it. Your rhythm on this poem could use a little work, the lines were uneven, but the rhymes actually fit better than I would have expected. I actually began rapping this under my breath and was really impressed how far I could get before a line became awkward or off by a syllable. Excellent job.

Gagax SILVER said...
on Aug. 12 2016 at 7:53 am
Gagax SILVER, Sugarland, Texas
5 articles 1 photo 46 comments
this is amazing!! it reminds me of when u cant sleep at night because you are thinking too much! its really well written.

on Aug. 6 2016 at 2:58 pm
missfloetry SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
7 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me."
-Al Capone, American Gangster

Thank you for taking the time to give me feedback. I really appreciate it!

on Aug. 5 2016 at 5:24 pm
missfloetry SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
7 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me."
-Al Capone, American Gangster

Thank you!

on Aug. 5 2016 at 6:31 am
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

This is so emotional, I love it! I feel like this poem would lend itself well to being spoken. I could really see someone performing this piece. Very good flow. Keep writing!

on Jul. 25 2016 at 7:59 pm
Realest.Feminist. BRONZE, Delmar,NY, New York
4 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real."- Tupac Shakur

I can see the emotion you put into this poem and the emotion makes this poem great!