July 3, 2016
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Right from the start he seemed to be my Romeo

And I? I was his Juliet.

I think I'm in love.

He's love is like poison Ivy

And if it catches you, surely you'll die.

Still, I think I'm in love.

For that reason, I feel broken.

If for once he chose to be honest about how he felt

Maybe we might have come to some kind of understanding.


The most upsetting part,

Who he portrayed himself as to me seemed to be fading away day by day.

The only thing I know is my heart is breaking tonight.

And all I ever wanted was the truth.


Was I asking for too much?

"No! I don't want to fall in love with him!"

I just wanted him to cry out to me

And I promised that I wouldn't judge.

Is it too much to ask?

I loved him.

But now, I know this life ain't meant to be lived without him.


It feels like we're young at this thing called love

At least, I know I am.

And if our hearts did meet as one stone

I'd paint my name on his heart so the whole world would know,

I finally found my baby.

For that, I'm not even sure that he's mine or that I'm his.


And there was this time

When I felt like he started to disappeared

And I just imagined life without my baby

That it wasn't meant to be like this.

By the looks in his eyes,

Still, he couldn't look at me in the eye to tell me how he felt.

I didn't think he understood just yet,

So I waited.

But still,

I'm so confuse.

How he felt was no secret.

His eyes piercing through my chest,

When all I did was love him.

And all he ever did was hurt me.

How can this be love?

And if my heart is breaking tonight or tomorrow,

I'd like him to know he's the reason why.

And still, I'm scared.

Because, I may never get to see my baby.


I learned a thing or two from him.

I can't hate him either

But, can't I not try?

But, if he's planning on falling in love with me like this,

Fall in love without breaking my heart.

Fall in love without playing games with me.

Truly, I tell you

That's when I will hate you the most.


I'm I capable of loving him like this?

No matter how much he might try to make me fall in love with him

I won't.

This love doesn't feel too good.

This is not true love

Always, to me.

But still, I'm scared.

Because this life ain't meant to be lived without him.

But still, I have to try.

Love. Does it really exist?

Or worst, is it possible to fall in love with both eyes closed?


He's like the wind.

He catches my breath underwater

Without him, how can I swim back to shore?


Because of him my heart is breaking.

And if I could speak with him right now I'd ask one question,

"Why do you choose to love like this?"


Because of him

My heart is breaking.

I'd tell him to walk away

I'd tell him to erase me from his memories

And if he refused,

I'd take my chances by taking the first step back.

But, how can he love and hurt at the same time?

It's not fair.


For the first time, he pushed me away

I stayed away.

The second, he disappeared

Then reappeared.

And I was left all alone trying to solve the missing puzzles.

Somehow, he had become my lover from yesterday.

Then there he stood in the corner staring at my heart,

As I watched my baby slipping out of my fingertips

Honest to God, that I was hoping he'd come back running into my arms

And our hearts would finally be as one.


I may never find a man like him,

But I know I'll find true love.

The truth is, the next time I see him I won't be so afraid to approach him

And say, "It's time to let me go"

To wash me out of his memories.

That way, we'll both live tomorrow peacefully.

And in the end, I won't be losing something alone.

That way, my heart won't be breaking alone tonight.

I guess in some ways I want him to feel the same way I once felt.

The confusion,

But now, I just want him to understand not everyone loves the same,

And that I was not everyone

I don't love like everyone.

I'm not everyone,

I'm me.

I think that's where he messed up.

This time around

I can't fix him.


He chose this life

Now I'm choosing my own and I hope he won't mind.

I'm not sorry,

Neither I'm I interested in seeing where this goes.


I already know how I feel,

I don't love him.

Not like this.


And if I said I loved him I think I would be lying to myself

As much as he lied to me.

I don't want to be like him.

I don't want to love like him.

For, that I'm leaving.

I will never allow myself to love him or fall in love with him.


And if today I'm choosing to walk away

We'll both be ok tomorrow.

And it's not because he fell in love the right or wrong way,

I'm walking away because he chose the "games" over his true self,

He's true feelings.

For that, he was not honest with me.

But now, what to do?

We can't go back,

And I think I'm most upset about that.


All the lies, just wanted to choke me

But I guess, he never thought that I was scared.


If walking away was easy at one point back in December,

It shouldn't be hard to walk away now in July.


I can't do this anymore!

I don't want to.

I'm tired,

And I just want to go home.

I just know that tonight I won't be hurting alone.


"Love is not to be forced,

Love is not for gambling,

Love is not to be taken for granted,

Neither, is it for sale.

Love is to be earned.

Then again, what did you do to earn mine?"


"I just thought your mother taught you that."


How can this be love?

How can I ever allow my heart to love you?

And all I ever did was wonder about the truth.

Now that I finally conquered my fears

I think I'm ready

To say, "At some point, I thought you knew how to love,

But I guess I assumed wrong."


Today, I am walking away without my baby.

In this case,

I think he'll understand why.

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