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As time Flies by

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The day crept upon our skin
As each day flew by
We stared at the black dotted sky
One day before
Saying nothing as time went by
In a blur
We hoped
We wished
We prayed
That this day wouldn't come
Yet it did
The world spun
Time slowed
The flowers shriveled
And a tear left
unshed
I said my goodbye
Waiting for a reply
In the open
Night sky






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hwoodruff98This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 12 at 9:40 pm
This was a nice piece. Just a few edits to consider: "Black-dotted" is hyphenated. Additionally, it doesn't make sense that time would slow down when it was just flying by in the second line of this poem. "And a tear left unshed" is also a fragment of an idea, because there is nothing preceding it or following it that ties it into the poem. Perhaps you could change the wording to "And tears brimmed in my eyes." It just doesn't follow the parallel structure before it. This was a nice start. Keep ... (more »)
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 13 at 4:50 pm
Thanks for the feedback! Totally going to implement it in my writing!
 
LeisurelySketchesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 28, 2016 at 7:48 am
That's a very soulful piece. Keep writing, it will turn out really well.
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 2, 2016 at 3:52 am
Thank You!
 
Simply.alive said...
Jul. 11, 2016 at 12:07 am
Good job. I feel this! What she said. Keep writing.
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 11, 2016 at 11:38 am
Thank you so much!
 
FallenAngel11283 said...
Jul. 10, 2016 at 10:26 am
I really love this, good job. Your very talented! Keep writing
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 10, 2016 at 10:50 am
Thank you so much!!
 
DaleJ said...
Jul. 9, 2016 at 8:30 pm
Great work, keep it up!
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 9, 2016 at 10:47 pm
Thanks! Feedback really helps!
 
--Em-- said...
Jul. 9, 2016 at 6:20 pm
I love this. Fantastic work, keep it up!
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 9, 2016 at 7:59 pm
Thanks! :)
 
SilverLiner said...
Jul. 9, 2016 at 11:59 am
That, right there, is some lovely writing.
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 9, 2016 at 12:21 pm
Thank you so much! Really appreciated the feedback!!!
 
Dallask7This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 5, 2016 at 5:36 pm
i really love this it has such a peaceful tone to me anyway
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 8, 2016 at 7:50 pm
Thank you so much!
 
Ramsey123 said...
Jul. 5, 2016 at 10:18 am
dude I love it its really good
 
Air568This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 5, 2016 at 10:21 am
Thank you! :)
 
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