bump-bump

he kisses me on the mout

bump-bump

staccato heartbeats

bump-bump

i have to get out

tugging on shoes

the coat doesn't matter

nothing is wrong

but it won't get better

nails escape the door

only by an inch

my soles take flight

on the harsh pavement

my soul is a twisted crash

how many times can

the wind bite my hair

the same amount of times

i bite my fingernails

making them bleed

soaked like the sun

legs like the sea

aching for shore

never stable

never still

let me rest

fluorescent lights are all i see

alcohol and gasoline

convenient in one place

staccato heartbeats

i wanna get out

"bullet proof windows

and too-loud radios mixed with drugs

doesn't make a place for you"

i want to ask how he knows

but my dollar for a pop

is turned over without a word

and then i'm out

back in the fluorescence

my hands out wide

wondering where my stars went

questioning the moon and

the lacking presence of andromeda

"do you think she feels like i feel?"

the girl with the chain gang of cigarettes

thinks for a moment, studying -

"maybe we all do"

the eyes drunk with blood

don't hide the vibrance

of what used to be

and what if she's right -

maybe we all do?

maybe we're all scared

that the sun that warms us

will burn us down; she's tired

staccato heartbeats

everyone has them -

the fears, the heart pounding

let. me. escape.

they can come with me

as long as i get out,

out of here -

on to the next place -

something new, not as fickle.

my tarot deck was dealt

but fates change and

lifelines are cut, maybe only

because the Fates need a friend

i can be their friend

invite me to the playground

the death-day celebrations

"fool" the corpse of pasts whisper

"your commitment is rubble

and the patience is ash

cigarettes will light souls on fire

and even our goddesses want to leave

this palace of hell'

then where do i go?

where do i go

if i'm too indecisive for hell

i'm too in between

and my staccato heartbeats

are mad at me

for giving them motel rooms

and drive-thru lives

i don't want to die

i just want to rest

we all want to rest

let me rest,

please.