I just want to be happy for once, and I don’t even mean the dancing through endless fields of flowers and laughing with your arms outstretched as the wind blows through your hair kind of happy, I mean the standing on a balcony at your hotel or at the edge of the cliff after a hike and not wondering what it would be like to jump, I mean the driving down a road by yourself at night and not feeling your hands clench against the wheel and debating whether or not to crash, I mean the kind of happy where it’s okay not to always be okay but at least you’d still know how to, that’s the kind of happy I want to be.