My thoughts are churnning,

Spinning, 

Spiraling,

Completely encased in 

"What if?" 

What if we were friends?

What if that turned to more?

What if I actually had the guts to say something? 

What if social groups didn't exist?

What if I was popular too?

Would you notice me then?

Would you stop aruging and just talk to me?

Woulld we have 3am conversations?

Would you develop emotion? 

Would mine subside, 

Or would they spiral even more?

Would I go insane,

Or would I become just as numb as you?

Would your smugness and pride rub off?

Would I gain your confidence?

Who knows.

We never will. 

Because to you,

I'm just another face in the sea of life.