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Picture Street This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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Time will reveal everything I want to know now.
I wish time was just the name of a street.
I’d drive a black car up and down time.
I’d be happy.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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ShirleyB said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:04 am
very pretty :) you'v a clever mind :)
 
paperandpen said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 9:49 am

wow, what a great picture of your imagination!

 

 
birdcage2 said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 9:49 am
this is really good i love it it makes you tghink. dont listont o people who dnt like it. i love it
 
sedentarysteve said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm
i feel like it's a bit redundant.  simple poems seem to sit with me much more smoothly than a longer one but i feel like this poem is lacking feeling.  the first two lines i felt were setting me up for a beautiful metaphor or introducing me to your message.  the third line kind of threw me off a bit.  i think it would have been more interesting for me to see as a reader, something more along the lines of what names you would've picked or metaphorically traveling down the road... (more »)
 
Heiwa replied...
Oct. 29, 2011 at 10:15 am
I feel the same... it's a good poem but needs a little more work.
 
Hotaru said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 3:27 pm
I think the ending of your poem needs more work. It seems a little weak. But other than that your poem seems to carry a lot of meaning in it.
 
PerfectMGymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 11:02 am
So simple yet so beautiful!! :)
 
nancyyy said...
Mar. 3, 2011 at 7:26 am
Although this poem is short it is very thought provoking. I like the whole idea of time in the poem and how simply you put the words to be understood by many people.
 
NicoleS This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 5:51 pm
great poem! it's simple and short, but very poignant and powerful! loved it
 
mcnwritingsoul said...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 3:23 pm
Can someone plzzz comment on my poems...im desperate for feedback!
 
mcnwritingsoul said...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 3:22 pm
 Can someone pllzzzzzzzz comment on my poems!!
 
mcnwritingsoul said...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 3:21 pm
It doesnt have much power. I wasn't shell shocked or stunned at the end.....you should work on the ending. This poem is very good, yet it also has great potential!!!! 8)
 
EmilyMichelle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm
This is a great poem! Short, sweet, simple, and to the point. Great job!
 
michaelchavez said...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 10:44 am
nice poem there
 
the anitra2010 replied...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 1:20 pm
pleese make more sence
 
KylaS said...
Feb. 25, 2011 at 9:40 am
I really like how short and sweet this piece is. Powerful, but no gaudy words to get in the way. Beautiful idea that all people can relate to!(:
 
abbymac said...
Feb. 25, 2011 at 8:01 am
I like how simple, yet powerful this poem is. Great job.
 
laylasstory said...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 11:17 pm
I wish you continued writing more because it's very promising and I really like it. But the last verse just cut the flow to it. 
 
sweetdollsarah said...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 7:42 pm
It was a good poem but it was simple...too plain add some funk or a big bang at the ending make us feel what you felt when you rote it make us feel your words your mood your atmoshere so that we aren't reading just empty words.
 
ShelbyMarie93 said...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Nice idea. However, I think it would have been much, MUCH better if you had elaborated on the idea. Make it longer...captivate your reader. Make us SEE and FEEL your idea, not just read it...
 
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