I was on a never ending roller coaster of pain, sorrow and depression . This time period was the worst for me, the worst I've ever been through. This time was the most horrific time of my entire life. It made me not just doubt me, but god himself. My mind was in the most darkest of places that I was scared to dig through it. I couldn't seem to find words to talk about what I was going through. I simply couldn't tell anyone not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't physically talk. I suffered everyday coming home from school. I would fake my smile out of those locked doors but when I was behind those locked doors, I drained myself completely . I sang my problems behind those secret doors. Nothing good or positive came within those paper thin walls. My inner demon was shown . I didn't see the same person anymore but I saw a new one in the mirror everyday. This dark cloud above my head didn’t seem to want to disappear. No rainbow wanted to appear after the rain. There was no happy ending for me. I still had to see him everyday. It was like a stab to the neck. I couldn't breathe. Hell was real and it wasn't in the after life but during my life.