1. The title sounds mean, I know,

but it's not that I never loved you

so much as it is I never

got the chance to. 

You see, I wanted to,

but in the time we knew each other

I couldn't get myself to plunge into that abyss.

Also, I wanted to get your attention

when I started this poem.

2. So I wrote you a poem

I don’t know what I was thinking

Maybe it was a little less intimate

Than a letter

And a little more personal

Than a Facebook message

Maybe I did it because

I thought I was a terrible poet

3. You’ll probably never see this,

this confession,

which is probably

another reason why I'm writing it.

Listen if you want.

I need to say this,

unclog this heaviness in my chest,

without opening my mouth.

I need an open door

to replace the one I closed in your face.

4. Dear old friend,

(I like to think of you as ‘friend’),

whatever it is you thought we were,

I’d like you to know I wanted,

more than the moon,

to see you every morning,

whether the sun was rising on the water

or taking the day off behind the clouds.

5. Your smile made me feel at home

in my foreign body.

For you, I wished to invent

a word more precise

than “friend,”

in front of which there could be no “just.”
 
If only I had said the words

that needed to be said

before I saw you that last time.

I wonder

what could have become of us.

Forgive me for missing our chances.

You may not believe me,

but I really do

wish you the best.