Feather | Teen Ink

Feather

July 7, 2015
By unicornpower PLATINUM, Tucson, Arizona
unicornpower PLATINUM, Tucson, Arizona
25 articles 0 photos 6 comments

A feather’s last
flight
is lonely

Taken
from
blood and bone

It soon
may fly
alone

Through clouds
may it whisper
light and
silky

But too
may a feather
drop

To dirt
and dirt only

Nature’s breath
never have
reached,
purred along
its ridges

Though,
if hope
come along
and sweep

Even the
most solemn
of Earth’s
trenches

Take with it
this dear friend
whose never
sung among
the winds

And let its
edges
split but
never shatter

Now,
Let it course;

Sweet mountain
hides
it
scrapes

Gentle leaves
it
wavers

Colored stems
it
bends

Such that
plump seeds
let fall

For
feather
is carried
by a
mother’s
strong hand.

Alas,

Soon
so feather
finds again
its wings

And tells
of the
dances
with
blossomed trees

Of moonlight
swims
through cities nights

Of droplets
freed from ice
by breeze


Then,
brass be unclasped
beak
toes
unleashed

Cage
sinks away
now clouds
to stay

Then feather
melts

Its journey’s
end

To become
dirt
again

As the rest of
her feathers,

Find

the wind.



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This article has 5 comments.


on Jul. 21 2015 at 12:15 am
KatalyticReaction GOLD, Frisco, Texas
17 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We need more completely sane people doing completely crazy things.” -Hank Green

I love this style of poetry! You've included great imagery and metaphor in simple words and a story as well. Contrary to @SarahSylvan 's advice, I actually really like the first couple stanzas and understood them perfectly, so it's your call on what to do with them. And as @izzywrites said, the rhyming pattern is inconsistent, but it doesn't really need to be, as this is a free verse poem. Overall, this is a great piece and you've done a wonderful job! I look forward to reading more of your writing later.

on Jul. 20 2015 at 7:52 pm
Consalvator BRONZE, South Jordan, Utah
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Great imagery! A definite story. I had to read it a couple times to get the metaphor, but it's a brilliant one! I think it's so beautiful how you take us through "a feather's" flight. I think this poem has a particular taste that most don't get, but I found it rather refreshing. Nice work! :)

on Jul. 15 2015 at 10:15 pm
SarahSylvan GOLD, Needham, Massachusetts
18 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never Give Up"

I like how the feather becomes the bird, that is a very good idea and you showed it well in the second half of the poem. I feel some of the stanzas in the first part of the poem can be confusing and I would advise either cutting them since they are not needed or rewriting them. If you don't mind I'd appreciate it if you told me what you though of my poem, All She Does Is Cry.

on Jul. 14 2015 at 1:06 pm
izzywrites BRONZE, Wheaton, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments
For the most part, I loved this poem! The rhyming pattern is a little inconsistent though. Take the constructive criticism in stride and you should be fine! Keep up the good work! Would you mind checking out some of my poetry too? I would greatly appreciate it!

on Jul. 13 2015 at 10:47 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don't acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

very interesting. I'm not sure if i'm the only one who got this, but I think that this was more of a story poem lol I say that with high interest because the poem I asked you to read is also a story poem. Good job, I like it, and you've got real talent