you pierced my soul but why

July 7, 2015

You pierced my heart

Then you pierced my soul

You drove a steak through my lungs

then you drove steak through my hope

 

Some notice I'm broken

I'm falling to pieces 

But they made their mistake

They believed I was fine

Some make the mistake 

Of not noticing at all

 

And I made the mistake

Believed it would stop

 

I see you at school

One innocent child

Then the next

You never bother the others

Because you can only

Handle the small

 

A cat will chase the bird

That tries to fly to flee

But a cat will ignore 

The dog that stands tall

 

I do not have that bravery

So I live in pain

But you don't care at all

You offer blow after blow

Time after time

 

But may I ask you this? 

Why?






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This article has 15 comments. Post your own now!

writer-violistThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 18, 2015 at 10:58 am
This is really good. I like the figurative language and all the details you added. I would say to keep in mind where you put capital letters on the first of the last two lines on the first stanza. This is awesome! Please keep writing and God bless! :_)
 
thisEmilyda1 replied...
Nov. 18, 2015 at 11:41 pm
Thanks for the comment! I wrote this when I was just getting started on poetry, I have written a few better ones since. God bless you too! And thanks again for commenting.
 
BabySnickers15 said...
Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:50 am
That is interesting. I really like it we should Collab sometime
 
thisEmilyda1 replied...
Oct. 26, 2015 at 12:29 pm
Sounds cool, thanks for commenting.
 
Little_Miss_Redhead said...
Aug. 23, 2015 at 6:51 pm
Interesting. Written in a view of one of my perspective. :) I like this.
 
thisEmilyda1 replied...
Sept. 2, 2015 at 6:10 pm
Thank you.
 
BeilaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 14, 2015 at 11:25 pm
I love the ideas behind the poem, and there are a few places where you convey them well. However, you noted correctly in the author's note that you haven't yet gotten the rhythm and flow of the poem down. My best advice to that would be to read your own work aloud to catch places where it sounds awkward. Don't let little things slide; if you heard it, the chances are that we will hear it too. For inspiration, you can always look to favorite poetry and read that aloud to try to find your own rhyt... (more »)
 
thisEmilyda1 replied...
Jul. 15, 2015 at 10:42 am
Thank you so much for your input it was very helpful.
 
thisEmilyda1 said...
Jul. 9, 2015 at 3:15 pm
Thank you for your advice I am new at poetry so I don't really know what a pattern of punctuation is, ill look into that.
 
Adia16 said...
Jul. 9, 2015 at 12:22 pm
Amazing piece, it's very moving and emotional. I'd suggest using a pattern of punctuation. This helps your poem become more professional looking. Keep Writing!
 
thisEmilyda1 replied...
Jul. 9, 2015 at 3:16 pm
Thanks for the advice:)
 
ElisaTheDuckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 8, 2015 at 8:10 pm
Other than a few typos and random lack of punctuation, this poem is sad and beautiful. I know exactly how you feel, to an extent. Keep up the great work!
 
thisEmilyda1 replied...
Jul. 8, 2015 at 11:40 pm
Thanks for your comment. I noticed some of the mistakes you mentioned I really should proof read but sometimes it's hard to remember.
 
ElisaTheDuckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 30, 2015 at 8:11 pm
It's okay; it happens to the best of us. Amazing poem though!
 
wilds said...
Jul. 8, 2015 at 5:18 pm
Nicely done. I know from personal experience that bullying isnt the easiest to deal with
 
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