Goldfish | Teen Ink

Goldfish MAG

June 7, 2015
By GraceBrodeen PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
GraceBrodeen PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
20 articles 3 photos 3 comments

Between my sore fingerbeds lies
The twitching stitching
Of what I made of today.

I love my lace dress
Yet my stomach aches with uncertainty
I tip backwards on my one-inch heels
I will never get old enough to stop playing
Stumbling
And catching myself
Like a fish in the pond
But I’m always thrown back.

I pull the fabric down
Afraid to show my dry knees
Afraid to show the parts of me –
As I turn, I do not
Twirl
I am hurled
Thrown into a circle of
Pinches and pokes

My wrist is dangled in the air
The fishermen gasp
I drown in the salty sea of their laughs
Each one piercing my back like
Harpoons
But I am no Moby Dick

I am left to pull back my hair and walk away
Tracing the lace
As I nervously wait
For someone to accept every part of me

Maybe that’s what hurts most
That even this beautiful dress
Cannot make a beautiful me.


The author's comments:

Inspired by the (terrible, horrible, no good, very bad) guests at my Bat Mitzvah ripping my special day apart by commenting on my weight and how I should be hiding my bones rather than wearing my beautiful open back dress. Funny how a few minutes of negetivity impacts what was supposed to be the best day of my life.

The idea of this poem containing fish metephors came from the theme for my party- fish!


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This article has 2 comments.


on Nov. 3 2015 at 9:45 pm
GraceBrodeen PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
20 articles 3 photos 3 comments
so so happy that you enjoyed it! thank you for your kind words @theblondechick

on Jun. 17 2015 at 11:43 am
Last sentence truly gave me little shivery goose bumps. I love the third stanza. This is a wonderful, bittersweet, and truly heartfelt poem about self--confidence and beauty. It gave me courage and understanding of my own doubts.