Truth is my mother is dying.

And it's killing me.

I come to school smiling and it kills me.

She has a disease.

It puts me at dis ease.

So I hold it all in. 

Because I am afraid of HOPE.

There is no cure. 

If I lose my mom

there is no cure.

So I cope the best way I know how.

I act out.

I don't want her to scream and shout

but it's better than seeing her lying on the couch

She looks alive.

Doctors say she'll have to fight for two to three years.

In the mean time I'll book a flight 

Fly away from my fears.

I won't leave my mom 

but have to cope

it's the best thing to me having hope.

Sneaking away, climbing roofs with boys

blowing out clouds 

blocking out all senseless noise

that are the sounds of my fear.

I'm looking at her but she is not here.