I'm Fine

February 19, 2015

It was just another day of school
Another day to them
It was another day of friends
Another day of learning
Another day of listening to music
Today was just another day for most
But not for me

Today was one of those days when you finally realize hell is a real place
You finally realize
That pain and suffering aren’t just things on the news
They are part of real life

There was anguish in my soul
Pain in my hand
Stress in my eyes
But to all those looking it was just another day

My friend happened upon me
In such a state
And he asked in a pleasant way
“Hey, What’s up?”

I looked him in the eyes and thought
“What’s up?
Nothing is up
My world has been turned upside down
Inside out
And has been beaten like a drum
But no it hasn’t been up
It has been beating to the common beat of
Hatefulness
Sorrow
Distaste
Uncertainty
All focused on the only member of the crowd who could hear
Me

I feel bruised
And sore
And hurt
Yet brave
But stupid
And castoff
What do you make of my perpetual sorrow?
Would you dare help me through this black hole”
As I was about to speak I saw his face
His easy going smile
One headphone in his ear
His mouth chewing that mint gum
His life characteristic

He didn’t really care whether I was up or down
It didn’t bother him if I was inside out
As a boy in America, he said his pleasantries
“Good morning” “Good bye”
But what has ever been good about good byes?
Just a bourgeois pleasantry
That is hardly even recorded to the speaker

So instead of the truth
I say the automated answer
The answer life would like me to say
“I’m fine, it is just another day.
I’m just fine, ”






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