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Whale Song This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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I have never heard it, phantom whale calls,
so deep they make one cringe, so shrill they make one cry,
except before I was born.

I know,
before I developed the lips, eyelashes, fingers, brain,
I have now,
I lived in the ocean,
I floated like a little walnut,
I was the simplest creature,
I heard the whale song.
This makes me wonder,
was it only I who received this gift,
or was it you also?

Giant whales, so big, beyond my comprehension,
peaceful beauties,
we have killed you all.
We stabbed and raped and took
for no good reason.
We took our ships,
I take blame somehow, I feel so awful,
we sharpened sticks and killed your
families
peace
your song traveled across the ocean,
you swam together for centuries through the deep,
mystic water.
What were you saying? Were you speaking through god?
Are you god?
I think we should worship you.
You blinked your eyes slowly, and your tears melted
with the ocean
We drank your blood with greedy slurps.
Are we evolution’s mistake?

I want to learn your song.
My race will never learn,
I am so lost with my race.
If I could trade in my clumsy legs and sharp words,
I would gladly accept your fins and godly
demeanor.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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no_more_words said...
Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:59 am:
This isn't my beliefs on some parts of this. I do believe humans can be cruel and harsh and discusting.... This poem is just breathtaking, keep writing :)
 
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Klara_Cielo said...
Jun. 14, 2012 at 1:40 pm:
This is just plain beautiful. The lines really seem to flow, and it seems really deep. It sort of reminds me of "Broken Horse", by the Freelance Whales.
 
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radicalhonesty said...
May 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm:
While I don't agree with this poem, it's beautifully written.
 
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HHHaustin said...
May 2, 2012 at 10:44 am:
I liked the metaphors and similes you put into it and the stanzas.
 
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mickeymouse said...
May 1, 2012 at 2:23 pm:
In your poem I loved how you used a cliche to keep putting yourself in the poem. I also liked how you compared yourself to things like a nut floating on water.
 
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emilar said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:38 am:
This poem was beautiful, I am amazed how you made it all flow together. The talent you put into this is amazing. Keep writeing you are good.
 
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thesoupguy said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:29 am:
The poem was great, it had great rhythm! it had good figurative language like iambic pentameter.
 
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Insert Name Here said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:25 am:
This is a very inspirational poem. I loved how the rhythm just flowed perfectly. They way you compaired God and the whale moved me. I loved how you used free verse instead of rhyme which is way over used. I just loved it.
 
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maggie_m said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:24 am:
Great job! I liked the metaphor you used and the different stanzas were good to. keep writing!
 
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Pinhead Larry said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:22 am:
Your poem has great rhythm, and it sounded like Shakespear's iambic pentameter.
 
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sydzue said...
May 1, 2012 at 7:51 am:
Your poem was really good, very expresive, very convincing, very inspriring! In each verse I could see what you meant clearly! All the metaphors were heard, and expressed your thoughts greatly.
 
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Indilove said...
May 1, 2012 at 7:49 am:
This is truly amazing! Great work its so deep I could really feel all the emotion you put into this. It's so true too! This is just so awesome completly and truly ur an amazing writer
 
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Fia-fia said...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 3:27 pm:
Inspiring, beautiful and all around amazing. This is lovely. The rhythm is fantastic and the poem itself is moving. Great perspective.. Thank you :)
 
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raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 7:30 pm:
Beautiful. I LOVE this poem - it is so well worded and flows along beautifully. Don't stop writing - ever! You have potential to be great. Also, would anyone consider looking at my work and posting some comments? I could REALLY use the feedback! :)
 
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itstoohardtothink said...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 6:03 pm:
I think a poem can communicate a feeling before you've even understood the word properly, just by the rhythm and structure.  Yours is so somber and melancholy, it's as if it's written in blue.
 
Ada D. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm :
I totally agree! It does seem like it was written in blue...
 
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Ayme S. said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 12:09 pm:
I can only say: woah!
 
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Audrey M. said...
May 15, 2011 at 7:23 am:
This reminds me of one of my favorite songs - Broken Horse by Freelance Whales. It's a beautiful poem with great language - keep it up!
 
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babyfacejack said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 12:27 pm:
this poem has good figurative language and good imagery and i like whales
 
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Dragongal said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 5:41 pm:
I wish for the same thing at times. Keep writing, this is an amazing piece of work.
 
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