maybe i'm not supposed to,
but i do
I miss you.
i meant what i said from the "i love you's" to "i don't know who i'd be without you" so i don't know if i can be mad at you
because there was no falling out
there was no slamming doors or tears or harsh words.
there was just a little space.
each of us, a piece of a thread stiched together and torn apart
so
far

i sent you messages, i called you up, said that we should talk, i wanted to catch up but you didn't really seem interested it stitching the us back up so i backed off.
but then yesterday your name glowed at me
from the front of my screen and i could feel my heart beat a little faster than before and a smile formed upon my face.
i listened to your voice
hoping you were gonna say "i miss you and i need you and i wish that we were closer"
but all i heard was your muffling and how you dropped your backpack and your friend was laughing and you were laughing
and I wasn’t there.

we are oil and water
when i only wanted to be a sundae
i wanted to be vanilla ice cream and i wanted you to be strawberry
I only wanted to be good enough for you
but I’m not even that.

your message is still saved on my phone so
i can play it again
but it will only be muffling
and i still wish it was a message that you'd meant to send.