I see that look in your eye
as you pass me in the street.
Is it hatred?
Disgust?
Maybe a little bit of pity?
As you try to judge me
in that instant

Well, you don't know me
And in fact the jokes on you
because I barely know myself.
After 17 years I've only just uncovered the tip
of an iceberg larger than the one that sank the titanic
and sometimes I panic
because I don't know who I am or where I'm going.
I'm still experimenting.
Developing who I want to be.

So don't be surprised
When I meet your eyes
With a glare full of loathing
as you judge me by my clothing-
skirt too short,
neckline too low,
red nail polish,
hair flying.
You eye me that way a nun eyes a hooker.
You push your beliefs on to me
thinking they are superior.
You try to dictate every facet of my life.
Even though you don't know me
you assume I have no morals.

But what you don't understand
is that I don't have a problem with God
I have a problem with His fan club.
Full of holy men with long beards
expecting me to respect them
when they've done nothing to earn it.
Supported only by the grace of others.
Sitting on the sidelines
while loyal followers clean up their messes.
No.
I lost respect for them a long time ago.

I lost respect for women
who view me as their next charity case
because I am nothing more than a poor lost soul
in need of their assistance.
For the brazen young men
who give me a dirty look
when I dare raise me voice above a whisper.

I've been exposed to your world.
I didn't find it to my liking.
Your world didn't like me either.
Choosing to focus on my shortcomings
rather than my personality
and all that I could one day be.
And while you might be fine
living in your closed little mind
I'm not a box.
There's more than four sides to me.
I can look past my own nose.
I don't fear the world and everything in it.
I don't destroy all that is different.
I embrace uniqueness with open arms.

I believe in in the same God that you do.
I pray to Him every day
but you despise me
because I don't do it your way.
I still barely know myself
I don't know what path I want to take
but I know what I believe in.
And each time you judge me
you make a big mistake.
Instead grab a mirror,
take a look at yourself-
Do you really believe
or are you just being naive?

Blindly following the fan club.