blueberries

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all in all
the blue-
berries
frozen
and round
like glass
marbles
rolled
off the
cherry-
wood
table
one by
one
after
you left
them
there
last night
for me

i refused
to eat
any of
the
indigo
tart orbs

alas
they’re
a favorite
of yours





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BeilaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 1, 2015 at 8:51 am
Interesting. It almost reminded me of the first few lines of "On Top of Spaghetti." I'm sure that's exactly what you want to hear. ;) I love the simple beauty of a poem about blueberries. I almost feel like it would be a shame to burden such a gem with heavy meaning. Let it stand on its own; it's a lovely little poem about blueberry marbles.
 
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 30, 2015 at 6:05 pm
Let art speak for itself, right? Not that this is art. More of the mind of mine rambling in jibberish. Thanks!
 
Amai-kun This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 15, 2015 at 12:06 am
Very nice! I think you took a very small moment in time and made it original and captivating. I would definitely want to read more.
 
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 30, 2015 at 6:04 pm
Thanks, Amai, for reading just about every piece of mine. I do appreciate it. —hugglez^u^—
 
TheSkyOwesMeRain This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:54 am
I really like the imagery and rhythm/sounds in this poem! The rolling motion in particular is very constant and shows ongoing movement, as a contrast to the unmoving speaker and the hollow ending. Nicely done! :) 
 
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 28, 2014 at 9:36 pm
Hollow, I like that. Thanks for reading and commenting. I always appreciate your constant feedback. 
 
Krasota-Butterflies-and-Angels This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 14, 2014 at 2:36 pm
I think it does make perfect sense, and it was well-executed. Maybe one suggestion would be to replace the "alas" as it looks a bit odd in this otherwise charmingly informal piece. Amazing job, though! Nice to get back from a extended Teenink vacation and see this little pearl of a poem :) 5/5
 
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 28, 2014 at 9:35 pm
"Pearl"? Wow, thanks, Krasota. I do now think the "alas" is out of place. This poem is one of those spur of the moments out of my conscience poems. But I've been revising it. Coming here and there back to it. We must wait to see what the future holds for this pearl of mine. ^u^
 
Krasota-Butterflies-and-Angels This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 31, 2014 at 11:30 am
No problem :) Sorry I haven't been in contact with either you or Callie again. I just had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted and it's still quite painful. Doesn't look like I'll be able to message you guys for the time being, either, as my grandma may die soon (she has had a severe heart attack and mini-stroke as well as a major vein blockage). Life has its moments. Ah well, good luck in your future pieces! Let me know if there is anything that I can critique/edit for you. Hav... (more »)
 
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 31, 2014 at 7:03 pm
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother, Krasota. ;_; Breaks my heart. And sorry to hear about your wisdom teeth too. That's no fun; I speak from experience. It was the worst pain; and the awful—AWFUL—allergic reaction I got from taking the antibiotics was no much better either. I've written several pieces lately. All spur of the moments. Cheesy love/unrequited/broken relationship poem. Which is funny, due to the fact that I've never once dated or had a relationsh... (more »)
 
JRaye This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 7, 2014 at 5:58 pm
Do they represent forgiveness? Like, the guy gives her a chance to take him back even after all the crappy he's done to her? Just guessing - thanks for giving readers the chance to decrypt this! :)
 
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 28, 2014 at 9:33 pm
That's a perspective I hadn't thought of. It's not originally what I had in mind. But I'm not ruling it out as a possiblity. And thank you for taking the time to decode this poem. 
 
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