Wishing Well | Teen Ink

Wishing Well

June 20, 2014
By ClaraJoy GOLD, Arlington, Virginia
ClaraJoy GOLD, Arlington, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes I freeze...until the light comes
Sometimes I fly...into the night
Sometimes I fight...against the darkness
Sometimes I'm wrong...sometimes I'm right."
-Geddy Lee sang it, Neil Peart wrote it.
Freeze


In the Bible, it says that in the end, there is only faith, hope, and love,
And out of those, love is the greatest.
Love is powerful, all right,
But to me, the most important is hope.
I’m angry at my teachers, friends, therapist, psychiatrist, and even my family.
I’m angry at myself.
I’m angry that I let my brain run away from me.
I’m angry that I spent my freshman year of high school shivering and crying in bed
Instead of dancing or reading poetry or eating ice cream secretly or kissing a boy with gentle lips and strong hands.
The pain is sometimes unbearable.
But I have hope--
That maybe I’ll do it next year,
Maybe I’ll be all better soon,
Maybe the little tan pill will fix me,
Like a kiss from Prince Charming,
But, all in all, I know that the thing to hope for is that I will take a running leap, and learn to fly,
And if that happens,
I hope I won't fly too high to return.


The author's comments:
As a fourteen-year old girl with mild autism who has struggled with depression and and an anxiety disorder, every day is a struggle. You're surrounded by people who can't understand, and sometimes it's very hard to keep going. Because my brain works so differently, the most well- meaning efforts can be anywhere from irksome to devastating. I hate feeling depressed and worried all the time, and I know that it's not fair, but hope that I won't have to spend my whole life feeling like this is what keeps me alive.

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