I waited for your call
and was saddened by how you didn't come through
I don't want to justify myself to you
I just wanted your love for me to grow tall

but it is dearly crooked and mushed
and swept without much

you blame me for breaking it off
yeah I blame my heart for being soft
soft for you
the man I once knew
who'd converse his fantasies with me
I was special to you
your vision of me was a goddess of beauty
a perspective I never heard of
but you made it reality
and strengthened me
I miss the old you
I have not stopped saying that
since the day you slipped
from my hands
and fell into darkness
consumed by crudeness
filled with hopelessness
and began to decay

it is heart wrenching to watch you
the cheerful boy so full of corny lines
and cheeky monkey grins
I wish the real you would return
because I am struggling
and that was the last thing you would have wanted
but you're making it so hard on me
and I want to run away til I find my dignity

I have lost all my saneness
and am scarred by the mess we have produced
it's spilled on the kitchen floor
dripping in the bathtub
tattooed at our heels
and colored on the walls
my paintings come out so morbid
my posture becomes poor when I think of you
I love you
and you are gone
I love you
and you are not here
I love you
and I don't know who I'm talking to now