Along the Way MAG

November 29, 2008
By Andrew Dobies GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
Andrew Dobies GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 2 comments

How many faces and birthdays will I come to remember
before my eyes shut for the last time
and I find myself in that closet I hid in that smelled of laundry softener
in the third grade because I didn’t belong in a girl’s house?
How many fingers and palms and fingernails
will I see amid how many trees, swinging green and happy branches in the spring
like the clasped hands of middle aged lovers who left the kids at home with a babysitter
so they could go for an afternoon walk?
I imagine there will be enough smiles and enough tears
that if I wanted to I could flood the city of New York
and swim through those blurred lights in the dead of an August night
and sing along with the crickets and the distorted sound of drowned car horns.
Hopefully I’ll have a bag of forehead wrinkles and boxes full of voices
from teachers and friends and train conductors
who say the most unimportant things like “May I see your ticket?”
Hopefully there will be shoes and coats from parties
and sloppy kisses on doorsteps in cold January nights
where my breath will be visible in the air and the ice near my feet
will sparkle and gleam in the periodic flicker of the dying bulb
in her porch light.
Even if things go wrong,
at least there will be the smell of honeysuckle and sweat
in my mother’s hair as she held me to her chest as I came fresh from the womb
and there will always be those fluorescent lights.



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This article has 216 comments.


on Jan. 23 2016 at 4:29 pm
Poetry101 BRONZE, Faith, South Dakota
3 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are !













~John Lennon

I love this. Hope you make more. Like this one.

floaton BRONZE said...
on Apr. 16 2014 at 10:19 pm
floaton BRONZE, E. Setauket, New York
3 articles 0 photos 18 comments
I am above the age now to be on teenink, but I just want to say I have come back time and time again to read this poem, because it is so sweet and it reminds me of all the good things to come, the good things that have been. And even if things don't go the way I want them too, the simple beauty and love in life will be there, and things can't always be good, but rather sometimes it's just about all the experiences we have. Anyone who doesn't "get" this poem or feels it doesn't follow a linear line, is because it doesn't follow a linear line, it is luicid, transcending ages, times pointing out flasbulb memories. Anyway, I figured if a poem of mine impacted someone like this I'd want to know, so great job, it always cheers me up. 

on Oct. 5 2012 at 10:01 am
BeLoveToday PLATINUM, Manchester, New Hampshire
24 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
-Nelson Mandela

"Leave your fear of love behind,
let your dreaming be your guide.
If you seek, than you shall find."
-"Dreamer," by Elizaveta

I really enjoyed this poem, thank you for sharing. Though the general idea of remembering what's important in life is not a new one, you came at it with an entirely novel approach in this poem by questioning "How many?" of little everyday moments. My favorite lines were "I imagine there will be enough smiles and enough tears that I wanted to I could flood the city of New York and swim through those blurred lights in the dead of an August night and sing along with the crickets and the distorted sound of drowned car horns." Very original and poignant imagery. My only criticism would be in the first half of the poem, sometimes it becomes a bit wordy with smaller cluttering syllables. Try to rephrase your thoughts a bit in order to make the lines more concise and your ideas will be expressed more clearly to the reader. If you can, please take a minute to read some of my poetry and comment with your thoughts. Thanks so much! ~Isabelle 

on Sep. 15 2012 at 1:11 pm
RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get"Forrest Gump
"Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means for getting"Peterpan

Who do you think you are calling me a liar! You are not me You dont know what i felt, you haven't felt my emotions. You and i are totally different human beings and we observes thing totally different. So next time you call someone a liar think about what i just said first!

on Sep. 14 2012 at 12:54 pm
Its.beautiful. BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
1 article 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you." — Erich Fromm

You are truly a liar. This poem has absoluetly no purpose or meaning. What emotions were so called provoked from this poem, other than nausea? Clearly constructive critisism is not your specialty. Do better.  

on Sep. 13 2012 at 1:05 pm
Its.beautiful. BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
1 article 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you." — Erich Fromm

This poem was most definately original. Having read this poem repeatedly I found that it has absolutley lost it's purpose...whatever that purpose may be. Seeing that you have used different settings and metaphors throughout the poem ( ex: a closet, a girl's house, fingernails, fingers, palms, etc.) Where are you taking this poem? What should the reader/audience/ I / ME.... recieve from reading this. I must applaud you for using good "pieces" of imagery, individually, but  together--- No. Your transitions between settings and ideas were very poor and confusing. Almost to the point of frustration. Are you dead? Were you dead? Explain. Needs work.

on Sep. 13 2012 at 1:05 pm
Its.beautiful. BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
1 article 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you." — Erich Fromm

This poem was most definately original. Having read this poem repeatedly I found that it has absolutley lost it's purpose...whatever that purpose may be. Seeing that you have used different settings and metaphors throughout the poem ( ex: a closet, a girl's house, fingernails, fingers, palms, etc.) Where are you taking this poem? What should the reader/audience/ I / ME.... recieve from reading this. I must applaud you for using good "pieces" of imagery, individually, but  together--- No. Your transitions between settings and ideas were very poor and confusing. Almost to the point of frustration. Are you dead? Were you dead? Explain. Needs work.

on Sep. 13 2012 at 1:04 pm
kaiterbug BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
I must say that this is the best poem I have ever read on teenink. Don't let it go to your head this poem is only slightly above average. The fluidity of the poem is cohesive. I didn't mind the subtle rhyme. I liked your use of figurative language. The imagery was vivid and not cliche. The meaning of the poem was adequate. It somehow managed to hold my attention. You have potential.

on Aug. 22 2012 at 4:29 pm
Redfire13 BRONZE, Auburndale, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you ever find yourself asking "am i really an artist, am i really a writer?" Chances are, you are! The conterfiet innovator is wildly self convident the real one is Scared. To. Death.

This is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep writing

on Jul. 9 2012 at 5:46 pm
Ali_Consinopile BRONZE, Salt Lake City, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
If we are born to die and we all die to live.. Then whats the point of living life if it just contradicts?

-Ronnie Radlke

This is Truely amazing and i felt as if i was in  your place

on Jun. 17 2012 at 6:51 pm
TMarie42 SILVER, Orland, California
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Pulvis et umbra sumus.

Amazing! Really great imagery.

purple_panda said...
on May. 4 2012 at 7:20 pm
purple_panda, New York City, New York
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Really strong emotions

purple_panda said...
on May. 4 2012 at 7:20 pm
purple_panda, New York City, New York
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Really strong emotions

on May. 4 2012 at 9:05 am
RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get"Forrest Gump
"Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means for getting"Peterpan

The emotion hit me and I instantly felt as if I was there. I loved it you did a wonderful job. It was truly amazing.

on Apr. 18 2012 at 1:26 pm
Emma Valley BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I really enjoyed the relatable qualities within this work.  I found myself looking back at my past as I read through this poem.  The imagery is the reason I like this piece.

belieber said...
on Apr. 12 2012 at 8:43 pm
this was so good! it was amazing how you can come up with such beautiful words that flow like this.

on Apr. 12 2012 at 5:27 pm
JustMeBeingMe BRONZE, Baltimore, Maryland
2 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Always act like your wearing an invisible crown.

this poem is deep. i love it. It shows emotion and i can just feel the mood speaking to me. Great work. Keep it up!!!!

on Mar. 21 2012 at 10:08 pm
Lily_Reeds BRONZE, Portage, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments
This is AMAZING I love it! Everyone please check out my work!

on Mar. 21 2012 at 9:21 pm
Swims.M.V. GOLD, Albuquerque, New Mexico
11 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you're not practicing, somebody else is, somewhere, and he'll be ready to take your job."
-Brooks Robinson

Beautiful :D I loved it 

on Feb. 28 2012 at 11:03 pm
CreativeAngel SILVER, Vaddez, Alaska
5 articles 6 photos 12 comments

Absolutely amazing! Really moving

 



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