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His Vacuum

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I wish I could be like my little brother-
With a one year old face as innocent as the man on trial,
He has no idea what this world will do to him
And because of that-
Of his innocence and naivety-
He smiles;
This little boy smiles,
Not because of a new toy entertaining him
But because a vacuum is.
It doesn't even have to be on-
Pull it out of the closet
And he smiles.
Turn it on, he's laughing-
Chasing you as you push it around,
As it sucks up all the hair on the floor that never stays clean.
But that fact won't bother him-
The fact that the floor is never clean
Because he knows,
As smart as he is,
That that vacuum will be out again the very next day
So he can chase it again
And his "it's the vacuum" smile will reappear
As if it had never gone away.
I hope it never goes away.
I hope that he never-
Not for one second-
Forgets how to smile
Because I've been there,
I know how it is.
I know how it is to not have a reason to smile-
A reason to be happy-
And that is why I wish I could be like my little brother;
Because he always finds some reason to be happy-
Because he KNOWS how to be happy...
And where I want to be like him,
I hope he never wants to be like me-
Me, who's eyes have become dull-
Who's re-found smile no longer brightens the room
But instead,
Casts a shadow-
A shadow of no emotion-
Just knowing,
Knowing that a smile,
Even if it's a lie,
Is better than a frown
Because with a smile,
You don't get asked, "What's wrong?"
You don't have to explain that you lost your knowledge to being happy-
Truly happy.
You don't have to describe the monster inside your head named Depression-
Don't have to describe the pain of its claws-
The stabbing and holding onto your soul.
I hope my little brother never feels those claws.
I hope he never gets down casted into a shadow.
I hope his life will be his definition of happiness-
And I hope his smile is never a lie-
That it will never fade away-
That he'll never forget it.
I hope he never knows,
Like I do,
Just how much this cruel, cruel world
Can hurt you,
And I hope that when life tries to hold happiness just barely out of his reach,
He'll climb up his vacuum
And grab it.....
I want to be able to find happiness in a vacuum,
With a face as innocent as the man on trial
And with a very naive smile,
I wish I could be like my little brother.

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