seventy-five.

prudence island, summer 2006 you
crawled over the rocks with
blonde hair everywhere, i remember you laughing and…

seventy-five.

i remember when i first met you in 2005,
how pretty i thought you were,
how jealous i was…

seventy-five.

we sat in identical hard chairs and ate and ate and ate and
peered suspiciously at each other from the corner of an eye;
why did we think…

seventy-five.

splayed on hospital beds talking i thought you
could own the whole world and the sky,
didn’t you know…

seventy-five.

if someone had told me then
where we’d be in five years, where you would be-
i would never have believed them;
were we really that out of touch with reality…

seventy-five.

one year of painted-on smiles and whispering tips and tricks we
loved fiercely but competed just as brutal and then
four years of fake laughs and lies and
then we just stopped talking, you shut down and
i almost forgot you…

seventy-five.

just before i graduated high school you died;
i read the coroner’s report one day and
my heart stopped when i read a number so familiar,
remembered i was the same that very day…

seventy-five.

prudence island, summer 2010 i
crawled over the rocks with
brown hair everywhere, i was laughing and…

seventy-five.

eight years ago i met you.
five years i knew you.
three years ago i lost you.
forever i will remember you…

seventy-five.

i wish you were here now.
you had so much life to live that was taken away.
i wonder about all you could have been if you were alive.
you really were too beautiful and amazing; you could have been everything.
and i miss you.
but somehow i still can’t stop.
even knowing you died this way.
even three years later.
summer 2013…
even seeing the same number you died weighing

seventy-five.