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Street Light

I am sitting on the street corner where we shared our first kiss. For the longest time this place was magical, and reminded me of love. But now, now it is cold. The streetlight is flickering. I'm afraid of the dark. But in this moment, the dark is not what I am worrying about. My sleeve is wet from my tears. I feel empty inside, but my mind is racing. I remember the first time you told me that you were in love with me. I wonder how you will tell your new love. The wind is starting to pick up now. I wonder how you will break her. The street light is flickering. I'm laughing. I should laugh more about it really. I cannot believe I put somebody so unworthy on a pedestal of such great height. I am clenching my fists. Tears are running down my face again. I'm laughing too. I am so stupid. I let you ruin me. My heart is hurting, literally, I am in physical pain. Now I am angry. I always leave here angry. The wind has stopped. The night air is completely still. As much as I would like to hate her I cannot. I hope you treat her better than you treated me. It is silent. The night is as empty as I am. I'm drinking tea from a small bowl. I'd ought to stop doing that now. The stars are bright. I loved you too much. It's kind of funny that we don't speak at school. I am annoyed. O Ryan's belt is glowing tonight. It seems I can't stay out here for much longer. Not if I want to be okay tomorrow. Your letter is back inside of my bag now. I am not sure if you care for me at all anymore. You surely don't show it. I suppose people really do change. I finished my tea. I feel angry at you. I wish I didn't feel hurt when I saw you two together. I want you to be happy. It is starting to rain. I've never kissed somebody in the rain before. I am sticking my tongue out. I am laughing, but not out of anger. I caught a raindrop. I've never done that before. Its nice to do something new. And it's nice to laugh. I wish I did more of that. It is silly to be out here missing you. You don't miss me at all. So it goes. It stopped raining. I have sat here late every night this week. I don't think I'll do this again. I am going inside. It's weird feeling like we hate each other. I blew a kiss to the street light when I got to my driveway. I said goodbye to you at that same moment. It's raining again. Harder this time. But I can still see the stars. What a beautiful moment. I hope I can kiss somebody in the rain someday. In a moment just as beautiful as this. You should too.




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