You long to be loved, and maybe that's why
When you aren't around I long to cry.
Not a sad cry, full of shattered dreams,
But a cry to let loose of the heaviest things.
I most desperately try to love you to my full extent
Though I feel like I'm sinning, in need to repent.
You wonder why I shed these tears,
Why I've cloaked myself all these years.
When I think I've found love, or at least
Found a distraction from the gruesome beasts
Who control my mind, darken my every thought.
I cry, because again, I've been torn from your arms.
Not literally, perhaps, but somehow there's a wall,
And somehow being around you fixes it all.
You are my drug, and I know I should quit
But these phantoms of darkness only cease to exist
When you are by my side. You only have one side effect.
You allow me to open up, but my mind becomes naked;
Everything that you say, I can't help but take offense.
You get upset, and again, there is this fence.
I want to grab a chainsaw, rip through this barrier,
but I'd lose this connection, it'd be even scarier.
Now, I hope you'll understand when I cry,
Because sometimes I think I'd rather die
Than lose you, but you're wearing me thin.
It's not your fault, but sadly I'm addicted.