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thoughts #2

i am thinking of you softly like the lighting in a dressing room,
you are in the mirror and i am trying you on for size.
i think you never really did fit quite right, but it's okay
i can't force myself to leave you behind.

reels of tape burning up in the background, nobody notices
only staring at each other and not at the big picture.
damn, i lost a shoe running away and now one of my feet is all messy.
i didn't even notice until i left foot-shaped stains on your white carpet.

i'm sorry, i've always been a mess
i can't make it perfect again, no matter how hard i try.
my footprint will always be right there and you will always think of me
as that girl who ruined everything.

even my tears left stains

every time i apologize a snake slithers out from between my lips
because i am a master betrayer.
don't you know my words mean nothing?
i buried you in snakes and i let you rot.
you were my porcelain doll,
picture of a perfect promise.
put upon a pedestal, you withered like a rose

i think you never existed

i am in love with myself




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