So true is my love | Teen Ink

So true is my love

February 6, 2014
By Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....


My beloved
My love
You looks so beautiful
I see
Your beautiful smile, long and bright
Your eyes, small, pale blue
It uplifts me
I admire it

I see
Your long hairs, dense, dark black.
Once I praised your hairs
And told, so unique and long
You said yep! they are
I admire you
With love, not the erotic one
But with a feeling that says I love you!

I see
Your teeth so white, so lovely
With makes your smile
More beautiful, more pleasant
I like it, I love it
I admire him

Who created you, made you
So good, so vernal, so peace loving
I love him
I love you too
I see
You are dressed well
Not extremely good, but
Then also you looks so graceful
I admire you
I love you

I see
A big ring in the morning sky
No no not the halo, but sun
Bright yellow, somewhat blanch red
I confess, it is bright, good and beautiful
But not more than you
Indeed far more less
I admire you

I am as if lost
Admiring your beauty
Admiring you, your smile
Feeling as if I am with you

But as my grip lost
I am left just with a
Smile
A big one
Revealing my true love
For you and for him
Who created you

I looked down and picked your photo
And again looked at it
Oh! the sun is gone
Came a voice from somewhere
I called Yes! It is
You, my love and
Just now comes your call
So true is my love. So true I am!


The author's comments:
So this is my first attempt to write a poem. i hope it is good and will receive many comments and recommendations. Please read it twice , rate it and don't forget to comment. Please, please ,please...

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This article has 21 comments.


on Oct. 14 2014 at 11:16 pm
Shade3043 DIAMOND, Shade3043 Did This, In Case Of Anonymous, Other
87 articles 0 photos 168 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I was a boy, I would always hear scary things in the news and my mother would say to me, "Always look for the helpers. Everywhere you look you will always find people helping." - Fred Rogers

For a first attempt, certainly not bad. Just nothing I'd write home about. The words you use are just too bland, you repeat the same words too much, I feel like this poem could use some punctuation, as well. Overall, it's not bad. It certainly has it's faults, but it's a good first attempt. 3/5.

on Oct. 14 2014 at 11:12 pm
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

thank you dream. 

on Oct. 14 2014 at 8:21 pm
Dream2000 BRONZE, Greenwood, South Carolina
4 articles 2 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Believe you can and you're halfway there
~Theodore Roosevelt

I LOVE IT!!!! VERY BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN!

on Oct. 14 2014 at 7:39 pm
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

yes it surely is, lol. i am finally caught. 

on Oct. 14 2014 at 7:28 pm
Trin_Freckles GOLD, Troutman, North Carolina
11 articles 12 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
When your sad, stop being sad and be awesome instead

Im in tears on how beautiful this peice of work is...Was this based off of someone you actually loved? Cause this is amazing!!

on Oct. 14 2014 at 7:26 pm
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

thankyou miss emily, its your kindness. 

on Oct. 6 2014 at 1:00 pm
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1492 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

This is beautiful. I love it. You really di have a talent. Thank you so much, for sharign this sweet and beautiful and talentedly written poem. You do have talent and greatness in you; never stop believing that. 

on May. 13 2014 at 10:58 am
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

thank you !!!!! :D 

on May. 13 2014 at 10:43 am
Nella.Girl97 BRONZE, Ashland, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 437 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart."

Very beautiful! 

on Mar. 12 2014 at 1:14 pm
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

haha, it is

on Mar. 10 2014 at 10:39 pm
Shadow_Wolf GOLD, Mayfield Heigts, Ohio
10 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is not opening your eyes but opening your heart."
"You see not with your eyes, But with your heart."
"Think first with your heart not your head."
"If it has a heart, It is human."

lol, that is too funny

on Mar. 3 2014 at 1:52 pm
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

I wrote this after viewing my friends photo. 

on Mar. 3 2014 at 1:40 pm
Shadow_Wolf GOLD, Mayfield Heigts, Ohio
10 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is not opening your eyes but opening your heart."
"You see not with your eyes, But with your heart."
"Think first with your heart not your head."
"If it has a heart, It is human."

Beautiful, honestly the words herein are similar to my thoughts of a dear friend.

on Feb. 19 2014 at 7:37 am
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

Deda!!!!!!!  Thanks... I am happy!!!!

on Feb. 17 2014 at 11:26 am
Crystallite BRONZE, Santa Elena, Other
2 articles 2 photos 351 comments
awwwwwwwwww sweet poem!!!!!!!1 my hert almost melted

on Feb. 16 2014 at 12:45 pm
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

Thankyou Azure Blue. And yep thanks for suggestioons, 

.king. SILVER said...
on Feb. 16 2014 at 11:05 am
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 573 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yo, this is great for a First poem, I like the tone. Though, I suggest that you read your poem aloud with an open mind, it helps you find mistakes and you can tweak what just doesn't sound right... I believe this could be written with fewer words yet carry the same meaning.. Not to be harsh ;) Keep on writing, my friend! C:

on Feb. 16 2014 at 9:40 am
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

Okay, I make my trick better next time. Thanks.

on Feb. 16 2014 at 9:40 am
Promethean SILVER, Kanpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind....

thanks, I write much better next time.

on Feb. 16 2014 at 9:32 am
GreekGoddess BRONZE, Andover, Connecticut
3 articles 0 photos 182 comments
This is a very good first attempt. A suggestion, try to use stronger adjectives. :)


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