Dear Sam,
Sooooo
This is awkward
I'm sorry
we haven't spoken in a while.
The thing is
I've been really awful lately
you deserve better than me
and I want to apologize

You were a gold bust that I painted silver
A stock car that I forced to only make
right turns
I was your glitchy GPS
In 35 feet ask out Jessica in front
of all of her friends
recalculating
in one week use three y's when you text “heyyy” to Mandy
recalculating
in 22 hours wear crocs
recalculating
in 3 seconds fart
recalculating
From now on just give up

I had good intentions
you are the best me I ever could
have asked for
So I'm sorry
I hope that you can forgive me

Sincerely,
Sam

Dear Sam,
Don't get me wrong
It is nice to hear from you again
and
for once
you're right
this is awkward.
because actually things have been
really great without you

You convinced me
that every success came with fine print
which said (in size 4 font)
“Ummm. actually you still suck”
that every stride forward was three yards
too short
that any time I did something well
there are fifty other people there that
did it better
and I believed you
You stuck a funhouse mirror in
my bathroom
that made me too big in some places
and too small in others
You held a magnifying glass up to my
imperfections and put them on instagram
#poppingpimples
You super-glued velcro to my lips
when I tried to speak
and you shoved a towel down my throat
when I wanted to sing
You stuffed my personality in a locker
wrapped my arms in a strait jacket
and tied refrigerators to my ankles
You sculpted my shadow in someone
else's image
and made me follow it

You'd yell
Sam, Shut up
Sam, walk faster
Sam, walk slower
Sam, be cool

Sam, smile
Sam, be quiet
Sam, Shut up
Shut up
shut up
Sam
Sam!
Sam!!

I love who I am
I wake up thankful that I am me
I love every
wrinkle
pimple
scar
failure
success
memory
fist
hug
smile
that makes up who I am
You may have stuffed a towel down
my throat
but I
chewed it
swallowed it
and now there's a fire in my belly
You may veto my satisfaction
but I've got a two-third's majority in
my gut that says
you can suck it
I am going to send you a postcard that reads
GREETINGS FROM I DID IT
with no return address

Sincerely,
Sam