Did you know
That when people drown
They hold their breath as long as they can
Until their skin turns blue like their veins
And they are knocked unconscious
That’s when they inhale
They fight for so long because their bodies won’t let them die
And I remember
You used to tell me you were drowning in your sleep
But you’d hold your breath for real
You would wake up before you knocked yourself out
You’d scream
And your lungs would sigh
You would breathe so hard
That when your mom came to your room, she’d find your skin so blue that your freckles disappeared from the bridge of your nose
And she’d see your neck thumping
The pulse inside your wrists trying to get out

I remember we used to go out in the foothills, off trail, climbing barbed wire fences
Through the sage and cheat grass
We would track deer for hours
And we were always so happy when we found them
Sometimes there’d be as many as twenty
We would watch them
Dirt smeared on our faces
Grass in our hair
On those days when we tracked deer
We were wild

But then
You stopped remembering your dreams
Or maybe you just didn’t want to tell me about them anymore
And you were too busy to track deer

Then I screwed it all up
You wouldn’t even look at me
No matter what I said
I can’t even remember the last time we talked
I just hope
You’re not drowning anymore