Fear: Part Two | Teen Ink

Fear: Part Two

January 1, 2014
By Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi


You can smell the sulfur in the air
See the corpses of those who fell
You can feel the heat of the eternal flame
And you begin to wonder why you came

You can taste the death floating in the air
You try to fight it, but you are scared
You cry
You cannot run away from the fate that awaits you
To crush you down with all the hate felt towards you

The tribe has spoken, be gone you witch
Your attitude is disgusting; you’re such a little leach
And you still have the nerve to say that you’re right
You need to know that I’ll never go without a fight

Negativity, give me nay
No one cares to what you have to say
What a little hater you can be
You’ll be the one on your knees

“Whatever” is all you’ve got to say
That’s cool; I’m the one that’s thriving today
Fear me little lady, you are now powerless
I’m fine; you’re the one that’s heartless

And now I’m stronger, loved by all
You’re the one who executed your fall
And it’s just simply hilarious when I see you these days
I seem to forget why I even loved you that way

Your love was nothing but a drop of rain
My time with you was nothing but a stain
On the fabric, that’s my life
Like the blood dripping from the knife
That you used to stab me in the back.
And I’m hurt,
Not because you were a fake
But because I lost a friend in the bitterness

I… I miss… you. What you used to mean to me
But I have moved on, even if just barely
And although sometimes I’m sad, I’m happier than before
You cannot feel the warmth if you cannot feel the cold
I wish I can tell you this now
Not because I want you back, but so we can be friends again
And be civil again for the sake of being a good person
Fear me, cause you are simply nothing
From my mind, you’re slowly decaying.



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This article has 10 comments.


on Jan. 21 2014 at 9:43 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

thanks, the poem is confusing. when i wrote this, i missed her and loved her. hated her, yet wanted to be with her. repulsed by her, yet... she was my world. over all, i loved her and all i knew is that i will never be the same. 

on Jan. 20 2014 at 8:45 pm
Alliecat321 BRONZE, Middleton, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything in life is easy, it's just hard to make it that way,"
"If all else fails try chocolate" -a friend

Great poem! in some parts i'm confused, you say you want to be friends then you say that they are "decaying from your mind"... but it may just be me interpreting the poem wrong. Anyways, i loved it overall and it had a good rythm to it. <3

on Jan. 12 2014 at 6:35 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

originally this had a lot of strong language, but i had to remove them due to it not being "apropriate" you can just guess what b word rhymes with which ^_^

on Jan. 12 2014 at 2:16 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

I love this one even more than Fear Part 1! Keep churning out these amazing poems!

on Jan. 8 2014 at 12:44 am
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

i got the comparison of love to a drop of rain from a song. i listended to a lot of songs. i am ok now. and youre right, there are lots of cunfusing parts in this poem. lots of parts that were not well thought out. and thats my fault, not in tention. i felt all these things at one. used to just feel like death could be the only thing that can stop everything. i used to feel confused. and ya. but im better now. not fully healed, but healed enough. 

asofnow GOLD said...
on Jan. 7 2014 at 7:53 pm
asofnow GOLD, Troy, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing gold can stay ~ Robert Frost

The first line was a great hook for me because I really like writers adding bio/chem things into their poems. I feel like the second stanze threw me off because I didn't really understand where you were going wiht the poem. The metaphors in the poem turned out really nicely and I especially liked the 7th stanze with love-->drop of water. Overall good job on the piece mainly because of the raw emotion in it. I hope everything works out.

on Jan. 7 2014 at 4:32 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

i will follow your advices on my future poems, but for this one, i will leave it as it is. this poem, alike many of my other ones, is my life. this is what i was feeling. i am supposed to hate my ex for all that she did to me, but in the end, i just end up missing her. ya, it is confusing, so are the emotions and pains and everything i have been feeling. and the tribe was meant to represend my friends, most of them warned me how evil she was, but ya... as i reread some of my earlier poems, i do see them in new light and understand that they aren't that great. 

on Jan. 7 2014 at 1:04 pm
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I love the second to last stanza. There is just enough emotion, figurative language, and truth in it to make is very real and well written. Though, the third stanza is just confusing. You start out with tribe, go to witch, then attitude, and it just doesn't work together. I know you were trying to use figurative language to enhance your poem, but it doesn't stitch well together, especially if you haven't read the first poem. I don't know, but I liked the first one so much better. This one is like you are trying to convince yourself you are better than your ex and feels like you haven't moved on when the purpose of this poem is to show that you have. This poem just feels so jumbled and random like it doesn't have a specific idea or theme. I think you should figure out what you are trying to convay to the reader and then print out this poem and reread it. Scratch out the parts that don't help towards the overall purpose of the poem and go from there. 

on Jan. 5 2014 at 8:47 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

thanks, and any suggestions to what i can fix or look out for in my future works?

dinks PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 5 2014 at 8:37 pm
dinks PLATINUM, Hinsdale, Illinois
28 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and kisses are a better faith than freedom"

Wow great poem! Overall I thought it was nicely writen and the rhymes worked, enhancing the poem, whereas sometimes they aren't used very well.  Keep it up!