Solitude | Teen Ink

Solitude

December 13, 2013
By BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
23 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Albert Einstein


She likes the abandoned places.
Not empty ones,
not the bedroom with the
closed door
or the kitchen after everyone is
asleep.
The abandoned ones,
the ones where no one
has ever set foot.
The deepest part of the forest,
beneath the tangle of
thorns and
creepers where the trees whisper
sweet nothings
to the wind
and golden sunbeams dance across
waving leaves.
Or the shadowed
places,
the cobwebbed attic where the
smell of mold and dust
hangs thick in the air.
The ancient cathedral whose
stained-glass windows are
permanently black and cold,
no light within,
the heavy doors locked.
Quiet they are,
no,
silent.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Jan. 7 2014 at 1:20 pm
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Okay, I would rearrage some of the lines so they flow more eloquently. At some times it is just a litttle choppy and it disrupts the flow of the poem. Especially "beneath the tangle of thorns and creepers." Also, I would take out some of the articles and coordinating conjuctions. The third to last line it says "quiet they are" I would just put "quiet" and omit "they are." I quite like it though. Very good job. 

on Jan. 4 2014 at 6:34 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

i agree with Cat521. maybe seperate the line "beneath the tangle of thorns and creepers where..." into "beneath the tangle of thorns and creepers. Where the trees whisper" and also, i'm a little confused with the setting because its talking about a house, then a forest, then a house. and being in an abandoned house. being in a forset. its just my opinion, but having the setting be more solid woulve have improved the poem. other than that, there is nothing negative i can say. extreamly good poem.

Cat521 SILVER said...
on Dec. 29 2013 at 1:18 pm
Cat521 SILVER, Berwick, Maine
6 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Think, before you speak. Know, before you react. Love, before you hate. There is far too much anger and hatred in the world for you to be the cause of anymore."

This is beautiful from the way it flows to even the word choice it has something about it that makes you read it again. 


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