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Summer Bliss

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In the soft, lush green,
I settle under the welcoming shade of a tree,
gazing up at the endless, sparkling sky
accompanied by clouds, stretched and faded.

A gentle breeze plays with the shadows,
swaying them back and forth, slowly.

The sun glows with the warmth
of a friend,
enveloping me in summer bliss.



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TheGirlUnknown said...
today at 1:04 pm:
Beautimus!  
 
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AlyciaL.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 17 at 6:18 pm:
I love the imagery here! Such a great poem!
 
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EmmaClaire0823This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 7 at 12:14 pm:
This paints a good image of summer. I would use a wider vocabulary for your adjectives. Also, the poem seems a little rushed and choppy. I think this is a very relatable topic. Good job overall. 
 
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SeamanGlori said...
Jan. 4 at 3:02 pm:
Its simplicity makes it beautiful. Fantastic work! However maybe use words that aren't so common, so the idea of "Summer Bliss" doesn't seem as ordinary. 
 
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writing.is.my.life.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:13 pm:
I like this a lot.  It describes what you're trying to convey beautifully. A little choppy, but overall it's gorgeous writing! (:
 
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GuardianoftheStarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 28, 2013 at 10:27 pm:
This was very well written.  I really liked the image you chose. It helped me picture the words more easily. 
 
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Cat521 said...
Dec. 28, 2013 at 8:17 pm:
There is a beautiful imagery about the piece that allows you to vizualize. Some phrasing seems a little choppy creating small gaps in the image. But it paints a beautiful picture, you really are an artist with words. 
 
live_luv_laugh_inspireThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 28, 2013 at 9:00 pm :
thank you, yes I noticed that! do you have any suggestions for how I could make that better?:)
 
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EvetteT said...
Dec. 27, 2013 at 6:47 pm:
  Great
 
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AngelaAxlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 27, 2013 at 5:04 pm:
Very nice!
 
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mollybug13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 25, 2013 at 11:03 pm:
I love this! It feels like im actually there. Im giving you 5 stars. :)
 
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megcmusicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 20, 2013 at 8:22 pm:
good poem... i really like it!
 
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