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bourbon burns and i can't spell it

here’s what’s really sad:
i am part of a group of seven
and no one tells me anything,
and i find out information secondhand,
at twelve am because we’re too tired to filter;
everyone splits into pairs
sabbie
and slexi
and alarah
and i sit in the dark
on a basketball court
dressed as the queen of hearts
on halloween,
when the last thing i am queen of
is hearts;
my most liked profile picture
is not of me
but of my friends;
i get drunk on a saturday night
and no one is online to know about it;
i am a little girl
performing for attention
asking how much do you love me;
here’s what’s really sad:
no one tells me the answer.




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