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This isn't about an ex-boyfriend.

I miss her.
She was like my younger sister,
But if we're honest,
I'm the prettier one.
And yet,
She cannot be my sister
Because
I remember what it was like
to be her.
You can't know
even a sister
that intimately,
That confidentiality that comes
from knowing yourself.

She was their Glittering Girl,
The little gem
Taken under their collective wing.
She was young,
True,
But one of them
Regardless.



WAS

Was.
Was.
Was.
She still loves them
So much.
I know this
Because I know her.
It feels to her
Still
Like someone has died,
They aren't here.
They can't be here
Anymore.

She had not yet grieved one mass murder
When another occurred.
Again en masse,
but with one blow
in particular
hitting hardest,
Aching
Because
It was the one thing
She could not lose.



Patch

Somehow,
She has survived,
Transposed
Into what you see before you.
Granted,
There are holes that cannot heal
in the present situation
Due to a lack
Of
Adequate supplies and care.
There are no hospitals
And no morphine.
New cuts and scrapes
Are sometimes inflicted
Old woulds
Reopen and bleed.



Yet.

Yet.
She does not feel un-loved.
They love her always.
They miss her always.
Yet.
She is not with them,
So,
Can she be sure
Their love is
Eternal?
Yet.
It is always easier
For those who have
Passed away.
Loved ones left behind
Cope alone,
As well as they can.
Yet.
That which was salvaged is
Patched
Uncertain
Depriving
Reality is missing
Something.
Something that cannot be
Replaced
Replicated
Retrieved
No matter how
Badly
It is desired.



Upright

She is alone,
But it is love for them
That keeps her upright.

Their voices are
only memory and imagination now.
But they keep her soul alive.
Give her courage only
Sisters can provide
It is memories
And memories alone
That give her,
The Glittering Girl,
The will to hope.
A brighter future?
Because this cannot be
All there is.

There is comfort in the memories
Even if it hurts
A little bit more
Every time she looks back
At them,
It is better
Than being
Truly
Alone.


I miss you. I miss what was. I've had to patch my heart up, yet somehow I'm still upright.



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