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Besotted Heart

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Indifference cloaked my love struck heart
flouting obvious indications
denying the demons in his eyes
fearing pain of truth too severe
I allowed him to exploit my soul



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SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 29 at 11:41 am:
firstly: The title is so perfect. And I've been reading many of your pieces. Wow. HOW DO YOU come up with such perfect titles. I always have the hardest time with them and even in the end when I cannot wait any longer to be sharing the writing I am not satisfied with the titles I crown my pieces with. Secondly: This poem is incredible. And I mean literally. I loved your diction throughout though maybe you could've made it flow better. I mean a little tweaking here and there. BUt well rea... (more »)
 
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megcmusicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 8 at 10:55 pm:
I can really relate to this! It's really good for a short poem, which I find hard to write and convey emotion in. I also let a boy lie to me and I believed him for a while. This is seriously good. Love it!
 
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EmmaClaire0823This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 8 at 9:27 am:
Thank you! I orginially was going to put another word in place of "allow" but this poem was written towards teens, and I already had used a wider vocabulary. Though, I do think I will try to find a more specific term to replace "allow." 
 
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asofnow This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7 at 7:42 pm:
The diction is really admirable especially given the topic of the poem. At first I thought the poem was too short but after rereading it I realize that conciseness is fundamental to the message. A suggestion would be to use a different word rather than "allow". Great job!
 
EmmaClaire0823This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 8 at 9:29 am :
Thank you! I orginially was going to put another word in place of "allow" but this poem was written towards teens, and I already had used a wider vocabulary. Though, I do think I will try to find a more specific term to replace "allow."
 
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haley101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7 at 7:03 pm:
You have a beautiful way with words. You say on your profile that you need help with your writing. Dear, I think you've almost mastered your unique style and poignant use of words. They are so visceral, and so powerful, that I was reminded of my own experiences. You have also mastered the difficulty of creativity, something that can't really be taught, only explored. Great job. You're a great writer, I've read through some of your work. Would you mind checking up on some of mine?... (more »)
 
EmmaClaire0823This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 8 at 9:25 am :
Thank you, that means a lot. I am just freaking out, because I am applying for a Fine Arts school for creative writing. I honestly don't think I am good enough to get in, but of course I am going to try. And of course I will look at some of your work. Again, thank you. I have another poem "Connect the Dots" and it is in a forum that I just finished and it would be great if you could read that. 
 
haley101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 8 at 8:50 pm :
I'd love to, but I'm still getting used to the whole forum thing. How does it work?
 
EmmaClaire0823This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 9 at 9:56 am :
Okay, go to the top where it says Forums. Scroll over it and then click on Writer's Workshop. Then down to Poetry and Lyrics. Scroll down until you see the title "Connect the Dots" by user EmmaClaire0823 and click on it. Thank you!
 
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megcmusicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 9, 2013 at 11:01 pm:
Good poem. It makes me wonder what it is truly about. I like this one too.
 
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switsy21 said...
Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:35 pm:
I love how your able to get such intense emotion across in a short poem. Really wonderful.
 
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TheUniverse said...
Dec. 9, 2013 at 6:37 pm:
This is really deep and to be so short at that.  Truly a good piece of poetry. 
 
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gossamergirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 8, 2013 at 2:34 pm:
Nice job. This was really relatable. I like the descriptiveness of this piece.
 
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sknight1 said...
Dec. 3, 2013 at 12:11 pm:
Wow your stuff is great! I can so relate to this!
 
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Time_Love_HateThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 2, 2013 at 8:23 pm:
I do love this!! I feel like it is talking about me.
 
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BrandalynBoothThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 2, 2013 at 7:05 pm:
Great poem xx you are a really great writer all of your pieces hold such deep meaning and relatability. 
 
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