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Jewish This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

As we sit at the Passover seder
With my family who can't bear to see me single anymore
the slimy gefilte fish makes its way down like it's an assembly line
I saw him staring at me
Oy Vey I thought as I tried to avoid
eye contact
There's one thing about Jewish men and
that is that they are meshuggina
The seder came to an end just as the
crescent moonlight came down
The only people left were me and him.
He sat down next to me with a dreidel in
his hand
This wasn't an ordinary dreidel
Instead of the shin, nun, gimel, and hei,
There was a picture of a shirt coming off, pants coming off, two people kissing, and two naked people.
I realized this schmuck was trying to
shtup me
He was creepier than the taste of Woody Allen's kiss
I grabbed my things and rushed out
My feet moving faster than Moses floating down the river
I got to my little lonely apartment
Kissed the light pink mezuzah on my
door side
And finally said to myself
“It's time to find a nice kosher man”

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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