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Talking to Reflections

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Dear teenage ticking time bomb

I see you in my hallways
you walk with a confusion in your step
like, "notice me"
was the silent prayer of your shadow
I've never taken the time
out of my day to talk to you
but i know your face

it reminds me of my own reflection
when i look at myself
through depression fogged glasses
and dangerous thoughts
linger above my head
like kick me signs
knotted into nooses

maybe that is why i avoid you like
the highway in rush hour

See I know what it feels like
to be the after- thought of societies attention
like you're so alone
your foot steps echo in a filled corridor
to be so low that you look up and see
someone else's casket

because once again you've become
the burial ground for other people's
problems

I bet you keep quite out of necessity
I did
I do
and attention is an immigrant
that doesn't speak your language

your head must feel like a tied court room
debating whether or not
you asked for this
and half the voices aren't
even your own

they mimic the whispers of
the ones you pass in hallways
that you feel you still
need the approval of

Dear teenage ticking time bomb
you don't

It took me almost all of high school
to admit there was something wrong
"I'm fine" used to roll off my tongue
like teenage boys say "I love you"

I still bend over backwards
to try and please others
maybe that's why
I feel spineless
bruised
battered
broken

Dear Teenage ticking time bomb
I hope you never learn to make
stain glass out of
your former window self

But if you do
love yourself anyway
or try to

Don't apologizing for being you
never chameleon
your gorgeous kaleidoscope
show them how to be beautiful
while mending broken

Remember that sometimes
it is okay to be broken and
I say this while I still try
to convince myself

Dear Teenage Ticking Time-bomb
I'm sorry
I never talk to you
i just don't have the confidence
to save us both

So do me favor,
and show both of us
that it is possible
to save ourselves



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