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Runner

Running down the street
Concrete pounding 'gainst my feet
Lungs burnin'
Legs hurtin'
Running to the beat
Sweat drippin' in the heat
Heart poundin' in my chest
Never want to rest
Run, run, run



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RoyalCorona said...
Jan. 12 at 2:02 pm:
I think that this poem was really nice and flowed very well. It was quick also and I likes that especially since it was about running. I thought that it tied very well together so good job!
 
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Carly_ElizabethThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 12 at 11:57 am:
This is good. I like it. The flow is nice and you can catch it quickly (some poems are hard to find the rythm). I agree with guardianofthestars that there could be more variety in the ryhmes. But I like it. When I read it I could almost feel myself running (even though I loathe running haha) Great job keep it up! :)
 
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EvetteT said...
Dec. 28, 2013 at 6:34 pm:
  I think it is a good attempt
 
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Rocky-PattonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:24 pm:
This is a good motivational piece.
 
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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 14, 2013 at 9:04 pm:
I think the 'tempo' of the poem is nice.  I like the rhyming of the poem, but it may've improved if you had used different types of rhymes (most had a -est or -eat). It would have just have more of a variety, but I like d it. :) It was a good poem for the first try. :)
 
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