tick
They could ask me
if I knew you
and I wouldnt answer
I dont remember
much of the time we spent together
but ive seen smiles
frozen
into glossy white frames
and ive heard videos
of laughter
trapped in pixels
tick
I walked into your trailer
following my mothers footsteps
but not mimicking her sobs
yellow and red streaks
across the carpet
across the walls
across the beds
how could condiments
that belong on my hotdog from the fair
end up
on your things
that I didnt know
that I didnt want to know
soda bottles
filled the bathtub
windows were smashed
glass between my feet
a breeze that I wasnt suppose to feel
trash
covered the ground
the furnance
was ripped out of the floor
and thrown on your bed
maybe they thought
that your blue hands
needed some heat
or maybe
they didnt think
at all.
Everything worth value was gone
and pawned at the local shop
they even took your soul
which they forget
would cost the most
tick
my mom told me to give you a kiss
for the last time
while tears slid down her face
so I did
and it really was the last time
I was seven
in 2003
and flowers to me
were pretty
even if they surrounded your grave
and gunshots
were scary
even if they were in honor
tick
eveyrthings taken
she said
as she walked out the door
avoiding miles of trash
almost as long as her sigh
but see
she didnt look hard enough
because in the corner
behind the cracked picture frame
that said number one grandfather
was a toy clock
that shined
like a magenta gem in the darkest cave
I snatched it
and stuck it in my pocket
as I followed my mothers footsteps
not mimikcing her sigh
tick
they asked me again
if I knew you
and I said
not well
as I reached into my purse
and rubbed my fingers along the shiny plastic
of a magenta toy clock
wait I told them
actually
we ran out of time
tick