I guess it’s just that I don’t want our relationship
To be defined by your comments on my Facebook,
Or whether you post indirect statuses aimed at me,
But by the way you hold my hand when I become stressed
Over the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.
It should be in the way your whole face changes expression
When I lean in for an extra kiss before I depart.
I don’t care if you talk about me with your friends,
Just talk to me about the impulses you’re too afraid
To reveal to your friends.
I’m not sure if it’s that people are changing with the times
Or if I’m just trapped in the past.
I guess I’m old fashioned that way.
I don’t want you to lie and say the four letter word
Everyone thinks is proper to pull out after a certain time point.
If you never fall in love with me,
Then so be it.
I’ve always believed some people are meant to be together
But never meant to be in love.
If you must enter my life so beautifully
But leave it tragically,
So be it.
We can go on the same
And I will
Whisper tragic lullabies that contain no words
And breathe in and out at a steady pace,
Contemplating everything except
The most painful
Because pain cannot break into the threshold
Of our safe canopy of blankets and love (is it love?)
Now I find myself avoiding the topic entirely,
Fearing that I’m becoming more and more avid
To hoping that you’re true.
I told you I was strong,
I told you I was free.
I am free.
I am strong.
Somehow your gaze breaks my barrier and I long so much
To crack and let your sun seep into my dark.
But I am strong.
I am strong.
Strong I am.
I am not strong enough.
She said I must let myself feel.
I do.
I feel everything.
I love.
I love everything.
Everything has bits to love,
But not everything can be liked.
I like you.