Had I realized life was this depressing
I’d have stopped living.
Had I realized I was doomed to fail
I’d have left my peers behind.
Had I realized my world would crumble
I’d be gone by now.

But “had I’s” are just as bad as “what if’s”
And my frail, fragile bones can just wish
I could pick up the pill, the knife or the rope
And swallow, stab, choke and kill
Now only Nature can do the trick.

I can only now hope Madame Death will be welcoming,
That she will wrap her Dark Widow’s Veil around me
And take me in as one of her own.
I can only now hope there will not be further doom ahead.

I can only now wait by my window sill
Hoping to see the Dark Widow’s Veil in the horizon,
Even though Madam has not yet been kind.

At last she comes as I thought she would never
And I welcome her into my home.

And she welcomes me into hers.