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Skeleton Orchestra

The Skeleton Orchestra is all bones and rattles
They sit in the darkest corners of your mind
When you are simply just not in the mood
They come out and play you a tune

The skeletons are the ghosts of the past
Lacking a soul and a heart and a mind
They play their songs without missing a beat
But the music they make is as dead as they are

The violins screech until you cover your ears
The drums are loud and send earthquakes down below
The flutes make you shiver and the notes are all wrong
The cellos and trumpets make you want to run and hide

The melody scares the devil himself
The rotting teeth on their faces fill toothy grins
Their bony fingers clutch their old instruments
As they play and play their dreadful song

They’ll never stop, they are eternal
The wretched music will never cease
So you might as well give in to its sound
And sway to the beat until you rest in sleep




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SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 29 at 2:34 am:
Well, I have to say, this isn't one of your best Took. The stanza I loved was the last ones, the others were pretty good too, but I say lacked rhythm somehow. And though of course it is free verse, so I don't mean rhyme to be clear, no I mean some lines didn't go well together, maybe a little restructuring could do the trick. I do think it is a very good theme though, but you could have portrayed it better. Keep writing. Love always.
 
Samurai-BagginsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 29 at 3:52 pm :
I guess I've been caught red handed, eh? XD You're absolutely right. It's not one of my best. I had this idea of a "skeleton orchestra" in my head but it was so difficult to put into words that made sense for some reason. This was the best I could do with it, my abilities being what they are. I wasn't happy with it and I almost didn't submit it. But thanks!
 
SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sep. 1 at 7:35 am :
Well, we all have some work up that we're never satisfied with :P  So you're a Baggins now, eh? hey, I've missed you at my Hobbit-hole these past days, Do feel free to come around. Love always. Saphira.
 
Samurai-BagginsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sep. 1 at 12:42 pm :
Ah, I am very grateful for the offer! But, unfortunately, I am a Samurai as well. And, if you can see my picture, I am in charge of my fellow nations. (In fandom reference). But I'll try!
 
SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
yesterday at 1:02 pm :
*Respect* Understood Sensei. Hope to see you soon :)
 
Samurai-BagginsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
yesterday at 6:28 pm :
Farewell! I shall see you very soon! *bows respectfully*
 
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nelehjrThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 22 at 7:55 pm:
I really do love the theme. Torture from your inner demons and you picture them as an orchestra. Nice. But yet, I feel the rythem leaves something to be desired.
 
Samurai-BagginsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 23 at 4:14 pm :
Yeah, my writing skills went kind of rusty on this one :) thanks!
 
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Night_StarThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 21 at 6:22 pm:
Completely 1000% Beauti-ful. I mean dynamics And how all the Dark Beauty To it Ugh !!! Itts Completly Amazing 
 
Samurai-BagginsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 22 at 4:28 pm :
Thank you very much, Night :) I appreciate your feedback.
 
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