O Lord, why is it my voice always sounds sweetest when I’m singing to you? The sound my soul make’s when I’m reminded of the breath you gave up for me. A lot like the voice of my father in the shower. My father singing “red is the color of the blood that flowed.” Don’t forget about His breath, dad. How Ironic. It took way too long to realize, he wasn’t singing about Jesus at all, but red being the color of the blood that flowed down that very same drain. O Lord, forgive me. I fell victim to whispers of demons from the very same drain, pouring out the red of my blood instead of prying my mouth open and giving it up to you.
O, Lord, re-teach me. I was taught my words didn’t hold meaning. That any words uttered could be deemed invalid and untrue with just a couple more from a different mouth. That nothing I said mattered because….because…well I’ll find out when I’m older. Who were they trying to fool, no one tells anybody anything in “adult world.” We’re expected to have learned it already as if our favorite bed time story was common sense.
I guess that’s not entirely untrue. No, mom didn’t exactly take the time to lecture common sense. She did more. She handed me a history book, the foundation of knowledge as to where is all starts. To put it simple, a child’s Bible. A little something to subdue the nightmares and keep me from squishing between mommy and daddy as they slept.
O God, thank you. Those stories never left my brain, thank you for healthy questioning and a thirst for more. Why is it that my questions sound louder when I’m asking of you? The confidence inherited from my Dad, but I have my own motive. Cracks in my reasoning that needed connection, given from Your word which sustains all life. A cage set around me and a skeletal key you carved to fit all my locks because you know just how to open me. So, Lord I’ll sing my sweetest in this cage, for answers of mercy and kindness and truth. warming me and dissolving my nightmares. Snapping the lock on this bodily cage so I can fly up and out all the way home. Singing all the way without a second breath.