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Sinners Just the Same This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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someone once told me that
shooting stars are nothing more
than angels throwing
away their cigarettes before
god could catch them.
lambs for slaughter,
we're waiting for just another smoke-filled lobby
inhabited with sinners just the same
as you and me.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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east_of_adaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 2, 2013 at 1:59 pm:
aha, i really like this. I wrote something similar about lightening, but I dig most anything about celestial bodies and their relationship to our God(s).
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:49 pm :
Thank you! I don't typically write about religion and God because I'm not a very religious person, but I love their symbolism in writing and I love seeing different takes on them. I'll have to check out yours sometime!
 
east_of_adaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 7:39 pm :
same here~! but still your poem came out just lovely my dear~!
 
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MissExplorationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 31, 2013 at 5:14 pm:
I like how you use the idea of good and bad together. I love the imagery and enjoy how it's short and sweet. Although you may want to put some capitals and some commas, periods, or semi-colons in your poem.
 
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vegangirl0725This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:13 pm:
This poem is amazing, i  love it.  But what i don't like is there are no capital letters, but you can easily fix that.
 
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sophistryxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:43 am:
Oh wowzers this is powerul. I love the imagery and anytime people can work angels into their poem I think it's a plus :) Great job!
 
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RozaAlexanderThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:32 pm:
This just proves the point that a poem doesnt have to be a page long to be great, in my opion its the short ones that a some of the best ones.
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 29, 2013 at 6:23 pm:
D*mn, this is a marvelous poem. I love the imagery of the falling stars being the cigarettes of angels. the imagery is powerful. And the title is lovely. I love your style. 
 
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CasimirPulaski This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2013 at 6:33 pm:
This has got a lot of OOMPH behind it, and i love the ideas in it! The imagery is delicate but backed by passion. My only suggestions would be to proffesionalize it with proper Caps and if thats not the effect you are going for, atleast the proper nouns such as God? Also i was wondering if the infreuent spacing was intentional or a formatting error? Either way i think it works, but if you are looking for publishing i might clean it up formatting wise! Also the last line "as you and me"... (more »)
 
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write118118 said...
Jul. 26, 2013 at 11:18 am:
Such wonderful imagery! I really enjoyed reading that- it was very thought provoking :D 
 
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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:03 am:
It is simple and effective, with great imagery and metaphors, makinge this piece very good. I'd like to point out the lack of capital letters, but I have been told before that not all poets do this; so it is your choice, but I do personally prefer to stick to the grammatical cliche.
The title is also appealing as it is unique and intriguing, well done :)
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:40 pm :
As picky as I am about grammar in writing, I usually throw it all to the wind with poetry x) Thanks!
 
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WriteOrWrong said...
Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:03 pm:
If the potential of this piece was in a bottle it would be so close to bursting!abgel throwing away their cigarettes, what a beautiful image you have conjured up. I feel like there are so many awe- inspiring and thought privoking ideas that could be taken from this piece but the wording and the format could be improved. You're putting these superlative images put there but around the beautiful parts you have plain wording. Try to make the whole poem give justice to the potential beauty it could ... (more »)
 
WriteOrWrong replied...
Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:05 pm :
Sorry for the spelling errors. Stupid technology makes it so difficult to type.
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:39 pm :
Thank you! :D
 
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