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The Woman with the Vacant Stare
June 28, 2013
The jet black taxi stopped. Beautiful house.
She threw a £20 at the driver, ‘Keep the change.’ She didn’t need it.
Chipped nails, fumbling for keys. The door opened to the empty house. Alone.
He was at work, late, again. He did not care, no one did.
‘Mother, can you hear me? Mother?’ The line went dead. She didn’t want to listen.
Cracked lips. Thin lips. Not soft lips. No need, no kiss.
Vacant mottled grey eyes, watching, watching. The interminable house was silent.
Salty, wet tears cascaded down her face. Who was she? The mask was off.
Tick tock went the clock. Time passed but she did not feel it. Isolated.
Elaborate. High society. High class. Functions.
Real friends? No.
Alone Together.
© Kaitlin C., Forest Hills, NY
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This article has 3 comments.
jfsdifdisofnsdklvn BRONZE said...
on Jul. 12 2013 at 5:45 pm
I REALLY like this piece. However, if you don't mind constructive criticism, the line "tick tock went the clock" is almost immature and humorous as compared to the immense maturity and language in the rest of it. Instead, I would try something that fits the rest of the writing, such as "the clock ticked on." or something of that sort. But beautiful piece. Well done. :)
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