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Just so This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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I.
We cannot be Route One, which slithers
up the coast in an Atlantic
Romantic fashion.
We cannot be the coveted, ephemeral rose
blossom.
We cannot be the scent of sea spray.
We cannot be a bittersweet chocolate.
We cannot be the song you heard
when it rained at night and the stars
shone through the clouds

just
so.

We cannot.

II.
You think I have forgotten:

The melody of our first dance
and the way you smelled when your
lips met mine.

A corner table in a coffee shop,
where our names are etched for
eternity.

The words whispered, naked and bare,
when the light tricked me into seeing
halos.

Wonderwall.

Freshly cut grass.

A peppermint scone and espresso.

“I think I've fallen in love.”

with me?

III.
It's kinda funny now.
Origami, almost a crane,
but a misfold and
garbage.

We unfolded ourselves, peeled
each other off the paper,
set out to love what had become easy,
but only succeeded in ripping
what was already ruined.

We could never be Route One.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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I_Love_To_Write said...
Aug. 3, 2013 at 10:49 am
Keep going U r really good at this
 
Midnight5765This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 29, 2013 at 5:43 pm
Love your vocabulary by how vivid and suspenfull you made it. Using "coveted" pulled me in as I sense the illusion of my favorite Edgar Allen Poe poem "Annabel Lee." Keep writing and maybe you can be in the magazine soon. Wanna see my works? Check out "Was is My Interrogative" for a sarcastic song
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:04 am
The structure is unique and intriguing, making the reader want to continue and read more and you use this to the poems advantage. The language used is very clever and well used, it emphasises your point and makes the poem much more powerful.
However, a criticism is that the name is a little dull, a name is very important as it has to intrigue or excite the reader so they are curious to read it; if it was not for the editors choice I most likely would have kept scrolling. You can ... (more »)
 
WriteOrWrong said...
Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:15 pm
Very unique formate. I love the imagery it creates. Some parts could be better stated like the second stanza in part three. You're folding or changing yourself into something that's not you for the other person. Show that. Also I feel like there should be a word after garbage. I loved this poem though! It is so beautiful and raw and lovely. I can't resist to be anything but caught up in the failed romance. 
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 22, 2013 at 5:29 pm
I'm actually jealous I didn't write this poem. This is phenomenal. You're super talented. Don't quit writing. Everything here is just what I want in my poems but sometimes can't come up with. You're definitely are new favorite of mine. Keep it up! 
 
Csquared This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 20, 2013 at 11:24 pm
You have some amazing vocab going on here. This really deserves an Editor's Choice! Wonderful!
 
TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:09 pm
First, congrats! I have been here for a while, and never gotten that red checkmark. It's something special, let me tell you. Now, this is a beautiful poem. I couldn't help but read it over and over, the last time I read each part twice. The imagry is astounding, and you have some very unique metaphors. I can only postulate on what Route One could mean, but it was coupled with others, the spray, the rose, that help me make a guess. It feels like saying that the speaker and the one the s... (more »)
 
Davina L. said...
Jul. 20, 2013 at 3:02 pm
It's pretty obvious why this editor's choice: the imagery is so beautifully, quietly, and confidently presented, and it makes the reader work just hard enough to understand. Your poem is neither too cryptic nor cliche, but strikes a balance that works well to convey your meaning. Great job! This is gorgeous.
 
GraphicWriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 13, 2013 at 4:40 pm
Woah. Let me just say your use of personification is... just freaking awesome. I love how you used the Route One, and it's shape, and your words are just amazing. Your vocabulary is high and intricate which is also awesome. I love it. Sweetness.
 
cowgirl4everThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 12:19 pm
This is really good! I can see why it's under editor's choice!
 
Labradorian This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:19 am
I really enjoyed the flow of this poem, and as others have mantioned, the wonderful personification. I look forward to reading more of your work.
 
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