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brown This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

it's strange because i never liked the color
brown, but as i gaze into your eyes, i can't help but fall irrevocably
in love with the creamy, smooth, rich color
of mocha coffee, and i hesitate in
turning away
from you, because i don't know
if i can function completely without
the caffeine that is your eyes

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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TaylorWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
today at 10:34 pm
Hey! I love the reference to coffee. Yum. I also find it interesting that you lack capitalization. Is this purposeful, or it because you're in that awkward situation where you accidentally press "A" instead of the shift button, so you just don't capitalize? The spacing is also pretty cool. Congratulations on being on the front page and getting published! I'll look for your poem in the mag.
 
NoniDoniThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 19 at 12:49 pm
Thought provoking! I enjoyed reading it! post comments and check out my work!
 
moonlitashes said...
Jan. 12 at 10:44 pm
your poem is so creative! every line ties in together perfectly
 
xxSaintNikkixx13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 5 at 8:10 pm
This was so great! I especially loved the last line two lines, "if i can function completely without the caffeine that is your eyes", it really tied the whole thing together. Beautiful!
 
Writing.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 30, 2014 at 11:17 pm
It was pretty good :)
 
Paakhi said...
Dec. 24, 2014 at 6:57 am
Wowwwww....so good.
 
countrygirl28This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 23, 2014 at 10:24 pm
I got chills reading this! Your poem is incrediby spectacular.
 
AnyuhhhhThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 17, 2014 at 10:57 am
I loved this metaphor with the brown eyes and the coffee! It was a really great poem, but I would suggest maybe adding on to this or making it longer because it is really interesting and I would like to see more of your work.
 
Ellie411 said...
Oct. 26, 2014 at 3:43 am
This is absolutely gorgeous. Well done!
 
ZaraclaylimeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 29, 2014 at 9:29 pm
Holy cow beautiful
 
Rosie630 said...
Sept. 18, 2014 at 8:29 am
I love this, how the color brown relates to their eyes and coffee throughout, like a big metaphor! Great job.
 
Ayushi18 said...
Aug. 19, 2014 at 7:47 am
my Indian friend, this touches to deep bottom in my heart....when u detest something but gradually fall in for it...
 
TheCometThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 31, 2014 at 11:43 am
:D your poem was so cool ;) you truly have a talent. and I certainly know how you feel ;) I liked the detail and the way you created pictures in the reader's mind so everyone would somehow see what you saw. I loved your poem it definitly deserves a 5 stars rating :D keep up the great work
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 8, 2014 at 3:28 pm
I love all the comparations and you have got a talent! Keep up the with your work :)
 
mereCatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 30, 2014 at 10:07 am
Pretty damn incredible!
 
_Zavery_ said...
May 20, 2014 at 1:43 pm
The last line is especially powerful and moving, good work!
 
Beanzoinalin replied...
Jun. 4, 2014 at 2:07 pm
That last line is so moving... You are a really good writer!
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2013 at 5:36 pm
I'm hating this site right now. Until today after months, I finally saw that you had posted in my forum requesting feedback. So sorry that your post didn't appear at first. For this poem being your first piece, I must say that it's incredible. I love the concept of it. As a brown-eyed person, I couldn't agree anymore. I love how you detailed the eyes of this lover. You didn't just say yeah you got great eyes. You went into lyrical details showing why this person's eyes ar... (more »)
 
rachelmuschett This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 13, 2013 at 9:38 pm
Really paints a picture! Love the poem and the way in which you described the eyes and its color in such a little bit amount of words! 4/5.
 
Avery_S said...
Jul. 9, 2013 at 6:44 pm
Beautiful poem! Completely warms my soul.
 
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